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Netski
Casual Contributor

New to forum

After living with my 21 year old and trying to do it all by myself I am not admitting defeat instead that I would love to have people who get it !!!

my daughter has Borderline Personality Disorder. We are on the merry go round of the mental health services and she is participating in DBT therapy 

the last few weeks her isolation is burdening her and me ... she has no friends no one speaks with her and she just wants a friend

as a mum it’s so dam heartbreaking to watch and exhausting to deal with 

I fear she is going to be taken advantage of as she is desperate and has openly said even cruel mean friends will do

how do you all cope 

11 REPLIES 11

Re: New to forum

@Netski Hi Netski and welcome to the forums :). I have  a son with a myriad of problems (which I wont go into right now) and a daughter with depression both of whom would love to have friends but don't ..... how do I cope? *sigh* not very well .... my son goes to a day care program where he is around other people which is great because at least he is socialising which is better than nothing.

 

My daughter on the other hand has 'friends' online but none in real life so it is just me mainly and other family members (but no so much).  I think clubs, art classes, gym, running or walking groups could be the answer it will take awhile but will happen over time given a chance.

 

 In the meantime you have to look after yourself and lead by exxample. You could go with her to a walking group (they hold them around various suburbs). Something like that would be a start. Good luck and I look forward to 'seeing' you on the forums. 🙂

Re: New to forum

At least you care about your daughter and the quality of her relationships. @Netski

Isolation is difficult.

When I was in your daughter's position I did not even realise I was accepting cruel mean people into my life.  Everyone seemed unhappy and angry.

The groups and having you care will help, but it might take a long time.  

Re: New to forum

Welcome to the forums @Netski. It's so hard to see a child struggling so much, and at times feeling powerless to help. Sounds liek you're doing all the right things with helping her to navigate the mental health system (no easy task!) and it's great she is connected with DBT therapy for the moment. If she is interested in connecting with peers online, you might like to provide her with information on reachout forums. They are a bit like our forums however are set up for people aged 25 and under. Not sure of your daughters age but I thought I'd drop that in just in case it's relevant. Take care of yourself @Netski.

I hope the forums provide you with a safe space to connect with people caring for a loved one with BPD 🌻

Re: New to forum

Hi @Netski and welcome to the forums.

The forums are a wonderful place where we all get each other and give and receive support. I trust you can find that support here... it has been invaluable for me. 

I support my wife who lives with borderline personality disorder so can relate to the merry go round on health services an being taken advantage of by pretend friends. It can be so hard watching when  sometimes all we can do is pick up the pieces when things fall apart so feeling for you. 

I am more than happy to talk and answer any questions you may have. 

Re: New to forum

Thank you I have mentioned this to her today as an outlet

Re: New to forum

Thank you .. it’s hard to keep positive and supportive
Tonight I have been tough over impulsive decision making and got the evil look so in for a roller coaster day aheas

Re: New to forum

Sorry to hear that @Netski

Here to listen/ talk things through if you  need.

Hope today is going ok for you. 

Re: New to forum

We had a rough night and I lasted 40 minutes at work this morning before a text message from my daughter saying she was scared and suicidal thoughts were increasing

so back home and waiting for mental health assessment team visit. 

I have today enquirer about a course for me in dealing with BPD.

i am feeling mentally exhausted 

Re: New to forum

I can relate to the feelings of exhaustion @Netski,  I was discussing this with a councillor only yesterday. Do you have a time for the assessment team visit? 

 

Seeking out coursed on bpd is a great idea. Also do you have any supports in place for yourself? This is really important...   I am trying to call on help more often but know how hard  it can be. 

 

 

 

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