Dealing with micromanager

[Healandlove]

I am not sure if this is the correct place to post this in this forum.

I have a new manager at work and she is an anxious micromanager.  My previous manager was so lovely and supportive. I think if I hadn't had him as a manager I would have lost my job with everything I deal with at home with husband with cptsd, family estrangement,  protecting my kids etc.

I feel that with this new micromanager, it is yet another person I have to support mentally (I understand micromanaging comes from a place of fear, insecurity and anxiety). Any tips dealing with this? I guess I can't take another psychological load. I can't change jobs either at the moment so I am stuck with this lady. There's also no option to tell her about my struggles at home. Another team member is going through looking after her husband who is in palliative care and this manager had been less than supportive. 

I'm tired 😢.

@tyme @Shaz51 @PizzaMondo @RiverSeal @Glisten @PeppyPatti 

[Glisten]

@Healandlove you poor person. I’m a buffalo 🦬 When there’s a storm coming, buffalos run towards the storm to get through it.

Because you can’t out run a storm.

You can’t get shot for asking a question or saying how you feel.

You can ask “How do you describe your management style?”

You can also say “Micromanagement makes me feel …….”

Odds are HR will keep shifting this woman sideways because they can’t get rid of her. Now you have to put up with her.

Good luck G

[Healandlove]

@Glisten , thank you for your response. I like that you are a Buffalo! I am working towards becoming a phoenix. 

I have already asked her about her management style and of course she said all the right things, gives autonomy, servant leaders,  empowering staff blah blah blah but in practice she is the opposite.  

HR won't care. Have to tread carefully in the corporate world.

I just feel I can't take another "handling" of someone. I guess I have no choice though. 

[Shaz51]

Ohh @Healandlove , been thinking of you all day my friend 🧡 

How are you this afternoon ❤️

[Glisten]

Oh NOoo 🫣 No. No. No one wants that.

You don’t get paid enough to manage a Manager.

What a crapfest situation.

I have no advice. I’m sorry 😣 

G

[Healandlove]

Thank you my dearest @Shaz51 .

I am feeling a bit better. I made some cupcakes for my kids. It was nice to see their smiles. How are you today? How is Mr Shaz?

[tyme]

Micromanagers can be hard work. In the past, I just let them be. If that's their leadership style, and I'm not ready to step up or change anything, I just keep reminding myself that it's a job. @Healandlove 

I know it's sad. I always said I would only work in places if I enjoyed it like being at SANE. But I'm mindful not all places are like that.

I'm interested in your point about the manager being an 'anxious' micromanager. What makes you sense that they are anxious?

[ParadiseFlower]

Hi, thanks for sharing. I had a manager like this last year. Even if your manager has anxiety, insecurities etc, they should never make that your problem. A person like that unfortunately should not be in leadership. I would highly advise recording down your experiences with this manager and consider presenting it to HR for a confidential discussion. They may suggest mediation to begin with... or even suggest you put in a formal complaint. My experience was that i tried to discuss this with my manager who was the EA to the ceo of a global company. I was very careful in my approach and asked her if everything was ok and proceeded to describe the situations which she made me feel uncomfortable or intimidated. She apologised but said that she hadn't realised so can't promise to not do it again. Months went on and i was going to quit, however i decided to stand up for myself first. I wrote a 4 page document outlining all of her ill treatment towards me and put this into a formal complaint to hr. She was immediately temporarily stood down pending an investigation, however she resigned 3 business days later (after 25 years at the company). I decided to withdraw my complaint as hr promised that it is illegal to seek retribution. She did however anyway, attempting to ruin my reputation, which didn't work. She also stalked the team that i was managing, calling them asking about my personal life. Also she kept coming into the office after she left, lying by saying she was having lunch with my team. I eventually grew tired of it and resigned. I never regretted filing a complaint. However i did regret wihdrawing my complaint. In Australia you have a legal right to a mentally and physically safe work environment. Most managers are emotionally regulated towards their team. Even the ones that have stress in their personal lives. This manager of yours has no excuse and you deserve an environment that you feel comfortable in.

[Glisten]

@ParadiseFlower well said and well done 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

[ParadiseFlower]

Thank you Glisten 💖