Lived Experience Forum

[Zoe7]

It is lovely to hear from you in amidst the chaos @Teej Hope the dinner goes well Hon and you get everything sorted with your brother there. Thinking of you a lot 

[CheerBear]

I feel sad and have what feels like a million things to do that sad wants to get in the way of so I'm going to try and put it here for now. Today I took a call from my well person with news that confirmed that unwell person has had a return of what has made them unwell. They were given updated time frames from the specialist and treatment options that will not be a cure. They were also told about a palliative care facility in our suburb for when the time comes which prompted well person to think about the need for them to sell their house soon so they can move closer. Understandably they went into overwhelmed land and tried to talk working bees and finances and all kinds of practical stuff. It didn't seem like the stuff that mattered today but I get it. My head has been doing the same - trying to work out all kinds of things that don't matter and that probably can't be worked out, at least not yet. Maybe it's a way of trying to make sense of things or to entertain a fix-it brain which feels (and is) completely useless at the moment. Lots of 😔

Unwell person then called to let me know they were OK which I kind of saw and heard through. They asked me not to feel sad or worried and I said I'd try which they probably saw and heard through too. I know they meant well but I'm finding it pretty hard not to be feeling very sad right now.

My crew don't know and I won't tell them just yet. They have a fun thing on tomorrow and we have baking to do for it that I don't want to do. I've had to really push myself out of my sinking sadness and I'm tired and looking forward to bed already. Today's been a crappy day 🙁

[Zoe7]

Lots and lots of these  and a few of these 💐 for those horrible sad feelings @CheerBear  💚💜💙🧡💛

[nashy]

@CheerBear 

[Teej]

Oh @CheerBear  I'm so sorry. 😢. Sending lots of these 💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜and these

[Faith-and-Hope]

🤭😥😔 @CheerBear 

💜💜💜💐💐💐💕💕💕

[CheerBear]

Saying a big thank you Zoe7, nashy, Teej, Faith-and-hope and Outlander (from a thread somewhere over ⬇️). Yesterday was really not-great and I appreciate the listening eyes and hugs and the landing space that the forum is.

I spoke and cried a lot with family people last night (even including my Grandma who I rarely speak with because she drives me nuts but it felt good to talk last night). Everyone was sad but kind of prepared in a way I guess. The financial pressure of being unable to work will now be relieved for well and unwell ones as they have doctors ready and willing to write that they have limited time left which will put them in early retirement and allow them to access financial security. It was a silver lining in a weird way. It means they'll have the freedom to enjoy the time they do have left doing things that make them happy and being with people who love them. I think we are all looking forward to and in need of that stuff.

I spent most of my day today at the little school for Harmony day. Such an amazing celebration of diversity and community and it gave me the best feel goods. It was a very timely reminder for me of the great that is in the world even though sometimes it super sucks. There is lots of good out there ❤

Thanks again 🌈

[Teej]

Morning @CheerBear 

wondering how you are feeling today? I wanted to respond last night but zzz got the better of me.

my brother has gone and I survived. It was actually really nice to have him around. It was the first time he has stayed here. The kids have gone away for the weekend and I am enjoying the peace. I am meeting a friend a bit later for lunch and a walk around my favourite nursery. 

[CheerBear]

Hey @Teej. I've been wondering how you're going. I'm glad you survived brother and even found it nice to have him around. Did you sort anything out re legal stuff?

I'm OK today thanks. Jumbled with the feels with unwell one sometimes, on and off. I am OK but not OK if that makes sense. Trying to be OK maybe? I had a sad day yesterday and unwell one did too (neither knew the other was feeling that way). They called out of the blue and came over which was really good for both/all of us. There's stuff to work out and feelings to work through which I think might be tricky. It's easy to get overwhelmed.

Ramble sorry. Today sounds like a nice day for you. I'm one down for the day and have the easiest combo of two kids here. Later this afternoon we will head out to spend time with our people which I'm thinking will be nice. A puppy is involved (we are getting ready for me to puppy sit as needed - not complaining!) 😊🐶❤

[Teej]

I think it’s all pretty complex stuff you are dealing with @CheerBear. There are lots of relationships involved and then there is unwellness too. I think I would be in that trying to be ok bracket too. From what you’ve said, trying to make the best of the time left is the best thing you can do, for them and you. 

Love when the easiest combination is what you have for a gentle day. I remember that breathe time when there was a change in dynamics. The hardest one I had was 3 and 4. 3 detested being left with his little bro. Now they are becoming really good mates and see each other socially weekly. 3 really appreciates 4 now :face_with_rolling_eyes:😄.