Lived Experience Forum

[Sophia1]

Hello again @eudemonism 

You sound very weighed down with all of those racing thoughts and feelings...

Be there for yourself as you have been there for others..

believe in you...

hard to do ...you can do it though...

I also want to let you know that I am always believing in you and supporting you within this virtual place.

💜

[Sophia1]

Hello @Former-Member 

Thank you for finding me here..💜💜

I hope that you are finding some calm...times like this have no words that can cover the emotions...so very different for everyone..

I do know that you have been supporting others for so long now..

You are such a compassionate, caring lady...so strongly respected on these forums..

remember to think about you..

sending you love and a gentle hug

Sophia

[Former-Member]

Hi @Sophia1 

I miss my mum so much, and she only died .. what .. 5 days ago.

Been trying to compose a eulogy this arvo, but keep getting interrupted by hubbys needs and demands.

Then I was serving dinner tonight, a good friend of hubbys rang. I said hi and then said Id pass him onto hubby, which I did.  He does not know my mum passed away this week, and would not be interested anyway.

But when hubby got off the phone, he blasted me for not talking more to him. I did not feel like talking, and was carving dinner. He just does not understand. To make matters worse he then says in a threatening manner 'I will remember this'. What did I do wrong? His friend rang him, not me.

So now, I am so upset, and cant eat .. again. I have so much to do, to organise and prepare. All seems just too hard right now.

Im sorry .. You dont need this.

Sherry

[Gazza75]

Hugs @Former-Member, you don't deserve that at any time, but, especially now. He should be much more understanding and compassionate. 

[eudemonism]

@Sophia1

Sorry... sorry to every one... 

Eude 

[Sophia1]

hello @eudemonism 

Thank you for saying sorry ...some people find that hard to do

I know that you are really struggling at the moment...

at times like that it is quite common for people to lash out at anyone who speaks to them...even though they do not mean to hurt anyone..

I know that you do not want to hurt me...

you were releasing your pent up feelings..

I wish that I could ease your pain..be there for you in some way that would be of help..

I feel quite useless and tearful

I really do want to help you ...you are important to me..Eude even though I think that you do not believe me..

We are friends...

Life is a pain in the proverbial...

I am feeling absolutely dreadful myself for the last week or two.

Blasted mind stuff.

We need a vent room on the forum..

Big hug Eude 💜🌺🐾

[eudemonism]

@Sophia1 

Yea, people and the world around me, were stressing me out ... i had to take some deep breathes and be mindful of what's really going on for myself ... and stop worrying and stressing about, everything going on, for everyone else and the world ...

I quickly gathered my thoughts, and practised a little mindfulness and breathing techniques... and moved on ... it's always a teetering balance between stressed out and moving forward with a mindful attitude ...

I think it's just how the two hemispheres of the brain operate...

Eude 

[Sophia1]

Sorry @Former-Member 

I have tried to respond to everyone and just cannot..

I take too long thinking about what to say..

I have typed a draft in response to how you were treated by your husband..

However I do not know where you are up to with everything that this going on for you in regard to your mum passing..

I want to respect that so as I cannot find anything in my search..

I will leave it at telling you that I am thinking of you..

I read that you have finished writing your tribute for her and feel unsure whether you will be able to read it or not..

You do not have to decide...

when the time comes you will know from within yourself how to proceed..

take care even moreso at such a fragile time

💜

[Sophia1]

Hello @eudemonism 

Life certainly is a balance...

teetering constantly as you described...

I imagine an image of a seesaw..up in the air feeling exhilarated one moment only to come down with a heavy bang without any warning..

at other times more of a gentle ride....some times complete balance as in harmony...

at other times teetering between up and down..

then there is the moment where we can choose to get off of the ride if we so wish..

we have to be alert though..as this moment can pass quickly and before we know we are off yet again on the seesaw ride..

cryptic?  yes..

then again so is life..yes

good to read that you have ridden through the storm again and survived..

Sophia💜🐾

[eudemonism]

@Sophia1 

I just sat down with my cold coffee, put my feet up, then checked the forums ... for any mentions ...

Am well in general; but, it's not without it's moments of struggle 

Managing the intricacies and details of ones existence in the 21st century ain't easy ... have become more aware of everything recently... and i am sensing the realness and truth behind-the ways of my mind... rather then the ways of the illness... I've also learned how to manage things in a proper manner... but yea %100 wellness is probably not achievable...

Eude