Lived Experience Forum

[greenpea]

@Jenn4  Hi Jenna4 I know sometimes people are scared of me and cannot work me out ..... but I cannot work myself out either lol so I try not to think about it too much.  I am a lil bit weird but then again who isnt.

[eth]

Hi @Jenn4   Definitely too much for most people when I'm manic.  But thankfully have had my longest period of stability the last 2 1/2 years so not feeling like that these days.  Touch wood!

I like your expression about extreme sport.

For me, I prefer to say "I have ..." rather than "I am ..." as that means my diagnosis doesn't define who I am (to me anyway).  But I don't say it very often, I choose not to disclose about it to most people.  They really have to earn my trust before I will share this information, and that's not easy to do.

[Jenn4]

Thanks @eth  and @greenpea  🙂 your support and empathy is really encouraging. And, yeah, bearing in mind that I don't get me either i think is something I can focus on for sure. 

I'm not sure how long you guys have been on the bp journey for, but for me it's only been 5 to 2.5 years (got diagnosed 2.5 years ago) so I really appreciate advice from other people's lived experience for sure 

that's cool that I have .. works for you, eth. Everyone is different, and I think in framing illness and neurodiversity we are still learning flexibility in what works for different people like we are learning together generally! I hated the I have .. lens so I'm encouraged that it's the goer for you 🙂 

❤️ 

[Jenn4]

Any Winehouse's,

if you can't handle me at my worst (/most full on haha) then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best,

springs to mind too 

@eth @greenpea 

[Jenn4]

@eth , @greenpea  do you guys manic buy?

I'm not a big manic buyer because I'm generally a very cautious and thrifty spender, but there a two things I can think of that i bought manic or hypomanic that i don't know if would have bought otherwise. they weren't crazy expensive but not cheap.

I probably would have bought them when my brain wasn't being manic..

But i have a weird relationship with them now even though they are cool things, my enjoyment of them has been marred by the memory of hampered control and mania-regret. 

Any tips on overcoming that? It feels gross and i wish i could just enjoy them without that callback. 

Thanks 🙂 

[greenpea]

@Jenn4  Hey Jenna I am a manic thrower-outer.er I throw out good clothes things I have recently bought on a whim nothing is safe ..... I dont know what the answer is to be honest?? but it damn well annoying when stable to have (when manic) bought something then throw it out the next day...... 

[eth]

Hi @Jenn4  and @greenpea  sorry for the delay responding.  I've had a quiet week forum-wise.  

I have had periods of huge overspending in the past but it hasn't happened for some time now.  What I do is if I have an impulse to buy something that's non-essential and doesn't fit in my budget I make myself delay the decision to do it for at least a couple of days to make sure it's not just an impulsive whim.  Works most of the time, even when I'm a bit elevated.  Having that discipline has taken a long time to grow, but it is possible.

[Jenn4]

Thanks for your encouragement @eth , all good on the delayed response! Good to know you have grown that skill over time, that encouraging. I just find that i have a bad relationship with the thing i bought afterwards, because i wouldn't have probably bought it otherwise, so i'm kind of mad i did, and it just reminds me of that 'uncharacteristic behaviour'. I donno. i'm working it out with help from friends. (: