24-11-2019 10:03 PM
My tooth broke tonight, back molar (oh no not another one) - I've had several teeth break (& fillings break) in the past 12 months.
Oh not another trip to the Dentist (again)....
29-11-2019 12:16 AM
01-12-2019 06:48 AM
Brain is not cooperating today and wants to think about SH and things that make me sad. Let operation 'Try to Get Back to Sleep' begin.
01-12-2019 10:14 PM
Totally p....d off.....
As if daily fatigue (requiring stimulant meds from Sleep Dr Specialist) isn't enough (past 12+ years)
Grinds my confidence & functioning into the ground.
Plus Scoliosis causing back pain (past 25 years).
Plus Irritable Bowel Syndrome & dysfunctional digestion - from my 4 bowel surgeries.
Plus Complex PTSD from childhood abuse & my family upbringing (environment).
When I do ask for help (or just to be heard) - it feels/ seems like no-one will listen (no-one cares).
Trite sarcastic responses (they give me) -
- "just go to the Dr" - I already see a Sleep Dr Specialist!
- "Go to/ see a Counsellor (or Psychologist)" - I already see a Clinical Psychologist!
I take those trite responses to really mean "We don't want to listen", "We don't care a bit"...
02-12-2019 11:05 AM
02-12-2019 11:28 AM
Hi @Sans911 thank you for sharing how you are feeling with us. I know this is the worry room thread, where people are encouraged not to respond to posts, but I'm concerned about you. It sounds like things are really hard right now. Please reach out to the following services if you need to talk:
Lifeline: 13 11 14
Suicide Callback Service: 1300 659 467
If in immediate danger: 000
I will also send you an email to check-in with you shortly, please keep a look out for it in your mailbox. We're here with you 🌻🌻🌻🌻
04-12-2019 04:33 AM
I'm not sure how I'm feeling but I do know this mood. Alone, thinking that no one cares, that no one should care, that I'm not 'sick enough' to deserve help, that even if I were I still wouldn't deserve it just because I'm me, that I need to be punished for these thoughts, for being weak, for wanting another person involved in shit I should be able to handle, that I should hurt myself to prove I can take it, to prove that I'm strong, to show that nothing can truly hurt me when I can do that to myself, that I deserve to be hurting for being me, for the false SI because if I was gonna do it then I'd do it rather than think it hundreds of times. Mostly deserve to hurt for wanting someone to help and understand.
04-12-2019 04:00 PM
Ergh! Everyone is annoying me this afternoon. They're not even doing anything in particular, it's just that their voices feel like sandpaper in my ears. I can't sit still in meetings; it feels like my head will explode. I'm hiding at work and am paranoid someone will find me. I just want to go live in a cave for a while away from anyone who expects anything of me.
05-12-2019 02:22 AM
I'm so tired. I'm tired of being tired. I'm tired of my health issues. I'm tired of the financial stress of the medical bills. I'm tired of dealing with grief. I'm tired of fighting the SH and intrusive thoughts. I'm trying, but it's so hard.
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