Lived Experience Forum

[oceangirl]

@Silenus  Hi 

[Former-Member]

Clouds are brewing 

They will be here soon

You'll be fine

You've been through worse 

It's not that bad 

All echoes in my head

But a never ending struggle

Becomes harder with every tear

People add to my storm

Because they can't handle theirs

My shoulder is heavy

From the weight of their tears

They walk away lighter

While I sink into the sand

My shell looks strong and shiny

But like a turtle

The cracks form on the inside 

No one knows until it's too late

Everyone ignores my crys for help

So I don't cry anymore

I hold it in

I STRUGGLE ALONE

[Former-Member]

A child huddled under the bed 

Fearing the world they are in

One trauma after another 

The cycle starts to set in

As they grow the trauma becomes apart of them

Now a parent themselves unable to break the mold

Their child suffers just like they did 

Growing up in the same cycle trauma controls their life

The same thing then happens to their children 

And their children's children

Eventually that is all that makes up their family

Suddenly one of them trys to break free

They want their children to be happy

So they do everything in their power to block the trauma out

But everyone is against her 

She is determined to be strong

But her strength won't last forever

And her new foundation is cracking beneath her 

[Former-Member]

Time travel

my thoughts run easily

through my tormented brain

wann ist heute, wer bin ich,

wo bin ich und where is my train

eins, zwei, drei, vier, fuenf rote Objekte

a car, a bin lid, a flower, a T-shirt, a jacket

confusion spreads throughtout my memories

is today 1980, 2002, 2018 or 2013?

wo lebe ich, what country is my home,

ich bin ganz verwirrt, I've lost my own.

my head is pounding,

let's try some grounding

inhale for four, hold for four,

exhale for four, hold for four,

continue to your brain says hold

or try dipping your head in water so cold

Ich bin verwirrt, ich weiss nicht mehr,

I want to get out of this life of mine

And I will, when I know the time

[eudemonism]

I think I'm laughing... because i know how hard it will be... when they know they have to respect me...

Whisked away... to another answer... for an old question... only to find... the world is in total disagreement... but alas i pity them... and hope they'll come around...

Meanwhile... laughing to myself... about the grandiose glory... of the answer... to my old question...

Tucked up in bed... in my jeans and op shop top...

Preparing my defenses... for the next attack... when it comes... i do not know...

Until then... I'll put myself into a state of therapy... as i watch the midday movie...

The journey to the dark night... has begun... slowly but surely... the light will fade...

I must close my eyes... and pretend i know nothing... for a little while...

[Former-Member]

A little girl, disgusting, ugly

unloved and unwanted

A little girl, betrayed, dirty

abused and discarded

I know, whispers the little girl

I stuff her in my heart

I stop listening to my screams

[BlueBay]

Hugs @Former-Member  xx

[nashy]

Hey there @Former-Member  how are you travelling this morning? If you need any peer support please continue to reach out here.

[eudemonism]

How everything going @Zoe7  its been a awhile... i hope all is well...

[Zoe7]

Things not so great in my world at the moment @eudemonism but that's life hey!