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Looking after ourselves

Re: living with DID/ Dissociative Identity Disorder

Hi @-Rayne- I havent contributed for a while either due other offline issues too. I get what @formermember talks about lost time and child alters have some myself.  I dont call them alters they are the community for me or rather us.  I just use single pronouns because i may misspeak when with other people. Not sure what it is like for @formermember but we have our own personalities but have decided to live as a group allowing each to contribute as the need arises. There is still memory loss but some small amounts of information are maintained to allow cohesion. Sounds weird i suppose but it works, people view the unit as eccentric. I am not sure who the me is but i personally am not associated with most of the family related to the unit and often feel not in the unit (body) sort of a floating feeling.

Re: living with DID/ Dissociative Identity Disorder

Hi @Maggie  thanks for your kindness.  The hobbies i have kind of fall to the wayside most of the time.  It often takes so long just to do the basics.  I dread going to work as my memory loss continues to plague me.  Hard to keep it together but i function.  

I go to gym, stream stan etc, try to get outside more, i message and write to my daughter.  Thats it really, trying to catch up on sleep most of the time.  I know i will get there but thats where i am, in a bit of a rut.  Safe inside these walls but also trapped and scared someone will see me on a bad day (someone outside my children)

Re: living with DID/ Dissociative Identity Disorder

@LadyCaroline  I think you are doing really well going to work, gym, stream Stan ( not sure what Stream Stan is), outside stuff and being in contact with your daughter.

 

I know the scared feeling of someone seeing the bad days, of which there are many. My little dog doesn’t mind at all, she just goes with the flow, kind of thing.

 

Its good to see you when you can make it, but never any pressure.

 

I hope today is as good as it can be for you. 💜💜💜

Re: living with DID/ Dissociative Identity Disorder

I don't know if anyone who was writing on this thread is still out there but if so it would be good to say hi. Hi anybody.. or nobody..

 

According to my psychologist I have this. I found it it was official a while  ago when GP let it slip that she'd written it in a letter. I guess hadn't shared it with me because didn't want to tip me off edge. I get that, but also do t like people talking behind my back. Anyway I got the courage to say I knew that she wrote that and ask about it yesterday. I'm still so confused but glad it's out now and I can try think about it. If others are still around what did you think when you were diagnosed with this? I don't feel like it's me but I guess I dissociate (I do agree with that) so maybe I just don't know what I don't know.. if that makes sense. Which is terrifying!!! Are other terrified?!?!? 

Re: living with DID/ Dissociative Identity Disorder

Yes it is terrifying and takes time to come to terms with it. I was diagnosed many years ago. It is good to know but just be aware its a wide church.

Re: living with DID/ Dissociative Identity Disorder

@destructive I don't want to contribute to this thread regularly because its too upsetting for me, but yeah its really scary. I called my lil sib and asked to be taken to ER immediately after my worst episode 2016 after some months of hallucinations etc....

 

...but, if its possible try and not self-create too much health anxiety if you can. Everyone has the biological mechanism to dissociate under stress and that is a good thing. Its a biological anaesthetic that we need when we are faced with the hardest times of our lives. We aren't supposed to feel everything all at once.

 

The trauma specialist Bessel can der Kolk called his excellent book on trauma The Body Keeps the Score, The Body Keeps the Score for a reason.....if dissociation is going steal your life, but also keep you alive, the trauma starts and is persistent < 7years of age. But most importantly it leaves physiological marks that are measurable as an adult. That sort of violence & post-violence neglect leaves a mark on the body and brain. 

 

It's very disturbing to come to terms with, but I use destraction, not all destraction is bad, good luck, Corny.

 

 

Re: living with DID/ Dissociative Identity Disorder

Hi all

Re: living with DID/ Dissociative Identity Disorder

Sorry, clearly new to this. I have been looking for a way to chat to others with DID for a while, until I found this site recently. I have at least seven alters that I know, but one seems to be more in touch with the others. So far, I have not had any 'control' over which alters appear or for how long they stay. Just usually lost time. Recently my therapist asked me to try and make an alter 'appear' in our session. I was unable to just sit there and make it happen and I sort of feel like a failure that it didn't happen. Is this something others csn do.....call on alters to appear at request?

Re: living with DID/ Dissociative Identity Disorder

Hi @DE11  no I definitely can't. Apparently I don't even know when it happens. When I hear some talk about all their parts/alters I feel different because I know no idea. I hear voices some and l know a bit about them but thats all. Can sometimes feel when it's coming on I guess. But no control. I'd actually want to stop it if I could. 


@DE11 wrote:

Sorry, clearly new to this. I have been looking for a way to chat to others with DID for a while, until I found this site recently. I have at least seven alters that I know, but one seems to be more in touch with the others. So far, I have not had any 'control' over which alters appear or for how long they stay. Just usually lost time. Recently my therapist asked me to try and make an alter 'appear' in our session. I was unable to just sit there and make it happen and I sort of feel like a failure that it didn't happen. Is this something others csn do.....call on alters to appear at request?


 

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