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MsCareALot
New Contributor

4 loved ones mentally ill at the same time :( <3

Hello there,

This is my first time posting here, thanks for reading.

Right now, I think I am experiencing carer's burnout or something.

I am from a big, loving family (I have 2 brothers and 3 sisters) but mentall illness runs through my family.  I have had issues with my mental health but I saught help about it many years ago (in my late 20s) and have been seeing a psychologist for many years and am very careful to manage it and stay on top of it.  But right now, I am feeling overwhelmed.

One of my sisters and one of my brothers are both currently going through major depression/anxiety/mental breakdown episodes, my Dad is in hospital with physical issues and rapidly declining mental health (dementia and anxiety attacks) and my best friend of 20 years is suicidally depressed.  I think I am quite strong mentally and I have studied psychology and done counselling in the past so I tend to step into this crisis situations and know how to help people out of them. But it's all happening at once right now and I'm struggling to cope.  I'm doing my very best to look after myself, and everyone keeps reminding me to look after myself, but it's really hard - you know?

The bit that is really hard, but also a huge privelage, is that these 4 people have all turned to me in their lowest point - I'm the one they feel safest with.  My sister and best friend have told me I'm their lifeline. I am really glad I can be that for my loved ones, but there's only so much pulling people out of deep dark holes that one person can take, you know? Just as my sister as pulled through, my best friend called and was suicidal, then getting through a crisis moment with her, my brother called and has hit absolute rock bottom and tried to check himself into hospital (he is in another state, going through a divorce and has no family there).

Today I'm having the day off away from everyone. It sucks because I would like to catch up with friends but I don't feel up to it.  Also feel like my body is caving in and coming down with a cold.  Perhaps it's my body's way of telling me to stop too.

Anyway, I just wanted to share my story and hope that someone reading might understand or might have some tips.

Thank you,

MsCareALot

6 REPLIES 6

Re: 4 loved ones mentally ill at the same time :( <3

Hi @MsCareALot

 

Welcome to the forum and thank you for sharing your experiences. 

Your story is inspirational, the number of family members you are supporting is amazing and exhausting. I hope you take more time to care for yourself, as you mentioned you can easily burn out. I have found the following link - Carer Gateway that may provide some resources for carers such as yourself. 

 

You may also find it useful to use the search function to find similar stories to your own and find other Sane Forum members to talk to by using the @mention function which sends as email to that member, similar to the one I sent you.

 

I hope you find the forum useful and supportive.

 

Take Care

SleepyPanda.

Re: 4 loved ones mentally ill at the same time :( <3

Hi @MsCaresALot

Although my other family members have no official diagnoses. I still believe they have problems - which have gravely effected me... Many times over the past 12 years I feel like they've targeted me as the weak link and used prejudice against me. - So I can be the mentally ill one. - So my problems can be diagnosed, explained, treated and managed. And hence (the problem goes away) When in actual fact... All along... Their problems have also been my problems... And I'm still faced with that scenario up until today. - i knows it. - i knows it's true. But the thing is - what do I do?

Eude

Re: 4 loved ones mentally ill at the same time :( <3

@MsCareALot That is a huge responsibility.

I can relate to your story. 

Learning self care has been challenging for me, but made a big difference.

Smiley Happy

Re: 4 loved ones mentally ill at the same time :( <3

My friend before you can began to try to help someone else

you have to make sure that you are strong enough yourself

to jump into  the ditch with them because if you are not mentally

and emotionall strong at the moment it will drag you down a

smiliar path as theirs.

Be careful my friend and stay strong.

Re: 4 loved ones mentally ill at the same time :( <3

Wow, I just found your post and can related so incredibly much. Both my dad and my brother depend on me for support, and I am also an oncology therapist, and the burden has just recently gotten greater as my dad's mental health has declined. And of course, I've had my own depression to deal with as well (although that often takes a back seat). Feeling overwhelmed is the way to put it for sure. It sounds like you're doing a lot, and the advice I'm feeling the urge to give you - to be kind to yourself - is also the advice I should probably take on myself, but always struggle to do. Hope you're hanging in there!

Re: 4 loved ones mentally ill at the same time :( <3

Hi @whatsinaname, sorry to hear your dad's health has recently declined. We're just writing to let you know that you have been heard and hope you can also follow your kind advice some time. Heart Sending you love

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