Lived Experience Forum

[Akash75]

Can the issue of being sexually abused in childhood or the unknown fantasies had during the childhood turn out to be a disaster or troublesome in our adulthood? Many are still in the closet and unable to disclose on this issue. Lets open up this topic and see how many people are suffering with it.

[utopia]

@Akash75. Yes, childhood sexual abuse has been shown to have many affects in adulthood; ranging from drug abuse, homelessness, mental illness, relationship difficulties, unemployment or under employment, plus many other problems.
Trauma affects a persons ability to grow. Education and limited earning abilities are other areas it can affect. And then there are feelings of sexual confusion, guilt, promiscuity, inability to form intimate relationships.
There are some great organisations available that can help people who have been a victim of sexual abuse - CASA is one that I know of that are based in Victoria.
I think with the recent news on Sexual Abuse within the church, more people are coming forward to seek help.

[Former-Member]

@moderators, I'm not sure if I should write this, but I often think it.
Why is csa such a big deal? It's not like our life was in danger, in my case it didn't cause any physical pain. I go round and round in my head why something like this is so significant?
I'm not putting anyone down or commenting on others experiences, just my own. I don't get why it has affected me so much?

[Former-Member]

huge topic @Akash75 and heart racing as soon as i read it... yes it has a massive impact on your whole life ... its impossible to know what/who i might have been otherwise. 

lj

[utopia]

@Former-Member - my ancient wombat friend. I think that's a good question you ask.
To my way of thinking, sexual abuse, rape - is not always about sex. It is about power, dominance.
It's a massive abuse of trust. And when it is done to children, it can stop their growth - due to it being a trauma.
There can be physical pain, fear, confusion, guilt, feeling unsafe, dirty. Then there is the guilt, confusion over your bodies reaction to the assault. Our bodies may still feel pleasure. So then you can have self loathing of your body as well.
Different people will react slightly different to the same traumas. Because we are all different.
Could I suggest that it has affected you because it was out of your control? Because you didn't ask for it to happen? Because this person abused your trust? Because your body belongs to you.
I'm sorry you experienced this abuse. And I hope there is a way to work through your feelings and for you to live a safe and happy and rewarding life.

[Former-Member]

Thanks @utopia.
You've given me too much to think of, I don't know what to say.
Thank you for your response. Much I agree with, much I've never even thought of.

[utopia]

I hope I didn't overstep the mark here @Former-Member.
I haven't experienced this, so can only look at it from the outside. But I have some good friends who have experienced this in childhood or as adults. Both male and female.
And please don't ever feel that you need to respond to a comment of mine. And feel free to say 'back off'- if that is what you need.
Sending you good wishes.

[BlueBay]

Hi @Akash75
This is triggering but I need to write something. Can't sleep. Prob not a good time to have read this especially after my bad week and night.
Childhood sexual abuse has affected me deeply. So so much. I hate my abusers. I can't write anymore now. I'll write more another day. It's sending me triggers about my abuse. My life will never ever be the same. Thanks to those mongrels that abused me. Sorry I'm being harsh I am angry. Your life changes. @NikNik or any mods I need to chat. Can someone email me pls. It's me not the post.

[oceangirl]

@Former-Member I think childhood abuse and even if its not life threatening- it can have significant impact. Some of the trauma may not have its full affect until someone is in their 40's and the abuse may have occured when someone was ten years old.

Some of the impact will be eperiencing anxiety, flashbacks, angry issues, fear,shame, isolation, betrayal,sadness, helplessness and powerlessness (psychological issues)

In the long term the child may also experience a number of effects as an adult. These may include

1. Depression, anxiety, trouble sleeping and flashbacks
2. Low self esteem.
3. Negative body image
4. Dissociation from feeling.
5. Social isolation.
6. Relationship problems such as an inability to trust, poor social skills or a reluctance to disclose details about themselves.
7. Self destructive behaviour such as substance abuse or suicide attempts.
8. Sexual difficulties
9. Parenting problems such as fear of being a bad parent, or fear of abusing the child or being overprotective.
10. An underlying sense of guilt, anger or loss

[Tara1]

Yep it's totally messed my life up seriously - it's robbed me of so much
My mental health has collapsed over the last 6 years intensely and a number of Overdoses and hospital admission of up to 2 mths each time - can't work - can barely function -
There's a lot more to say but that's it for now