11-09-2019 02:32 PM
Hey everyone, I've just lost three more days of my life to fkn BPD. As a result of the three day struggle to survive, I am completely wrung out in every way. It's an effort to type. It's a glorious day and I'd love to be out in it, in the sun in the garden...with the dogs, pegging out the washing etc etc. But here I am again on the couch. I took my meds too late today and my head is zapping like nothing else. I have come out the other side of this episode and the sense of wanting to die has diminished somewhat, but I am feeling that anger that I've sensed lately, about my diagnoses. IF ONLY IT COULD'VE BEEN 20 OR EVEN 30 YEARS AGO!! What a complete difference things could have been. I'm feeling fucked off and ripped off.
In trying to be the usual positive person that I am, I have a question for you guys:
BPD Awareness Week is coming up and I am thinking of making a short video to post to a bunch of my FB friends who I would be happy to share this with. I think there absolutely needs to be more awareness around this disorder and I guess with most things, it starts in the home as they say.
So - thoughts? Stupid idea that I'll regret? Would love to hear what you guys think of my idea.
I do hope you're all travelling well today. Sending love & hugs 🤗💗🤗💗🤗💗
11-09-2019 07:11 PM
it sounds really tough for you and as someone who also experiences BPD I can relate to some of the challenges you may face.
in regards to making a video, that's totally up to you and what your comfortable in doing.
11-09-2019 08:28 PM
I totally get you snowflake BPD is isolating and not many people understand.
I'm struggling a bit right now as I'm going through a med change.
Totally hear you
11-09-2019 10:42 PM
12-09-2019 12:11 AM
Big hugs to you both, we walk a tough road at times. Hope to get to know you both over this forum xx
12-09-2019 12:14 AM
I'll see how I go, and hopefully have the guts and stamina to get it done. Thanks for your feedback x
12-09-2019 09:26 AM
Feeling ripped off- me too. Just turned 47, undiagnosed but tested myself a million times and my doctor thinks I have BPD too. I have a referral- just haven't acted on it.
I reckon I've been sufferring since around 17, maybe earlier. I just thought I was unique to suffer from depression constantly. My mania- well I just thought that was me- risky, going off, enjoying life to it's limits. Happy to survive.
I've never been able to hold onto a relationship and couldn't understand why. Now I'm 47 and understand why- bit late- ripped off. It's all I wanted in life was to love and be loved.
Anyway, so right now I just live day to day not really caring about life or death. But I am lucky to have a really good mate to help me do things I should enjoy. I manage my depression with a great dog, Gemma. I get out in nature a lot, exercise and look up. Looking up is a great way to get those endorphins going.
So I know how you feel with the ripped off part. I'm just so happy I found someone that feels like me- you're the first one I've found. You're not alone, so keep on going and remember there's always hope.
12-09-2019 09:43 AM
Hey @Bushman , nice to hear from you. Sorry you feel your Mental Health has ripped you off. If I'm honest with myself I feel the same way. I hope you can follow up on your referral to the psychiatrist BPD is treatable, the psychiatrist might have a plan for you. Glad you have your dog with you.
12-09-2019 05:47 PM