Our stories
Memory issues are huge. @eth
After my sister's death and the ones that followed in that year. I began a process of digging for positive memories. SO my situation was a little different from the therapy sessions were people were uncovering repressed memories and debates about what was the truth. I was reading Freud and various case studies and trying to understand my whole famly rather than focussing on my own particular memories. I needed to focus on the positive in my family in order to keep parenting at all. At the time I was also working on memorising piano works. SO I have often been proactive with my mind.
I have had another read of this thread and am still bowled over by the support. Much appreciated.
Last year was very difficult. Though I have been calling this my year of fun in contrast, re-reading this thread reminded me of how extremely vulnerable I have been in the early part of this year. I was needing to take prn to keep moving forward with my positive plans. It has been 3 months since I needed a prn rather than since the beginning of the year. I often have a tendency to put a postive wash over things that may deny the severity.
Photos and objects can represent tangible memories. @eth 
Someone mentioned photos were a good way of dealing with memories and grief, so I spent a few years collecting 2nd hand wooden frames and putting my favourite photos of all the people who had died on the wall. After a few more years I framed photos which celebrated aspects of me rather than other people. Then another re-arranging I put the grief photos in my bedroom rather than through the house ... and celebrated life more in the piano room and house.
Hope today goes well for you.
The NDIS people still have not called re the CoS or the band details ... must be busy.
Hi @Appleblossom I've been thinking about you the last couple of days but have had lots happening off-line. Thankyou for your sharing about memory and how it is for you. I wanted to reply in more detail but have lost track of what I was going to say sorry. I'm sure it will come back to me. Something about how in my research about types of memory lately I haven't found anything that talks about how it operates differently during and post psychosis. I rediscovered a quote I found 2 years ago : "Our lives may be determined less by past events than the way we remember them" (Catherine Ann Jones, author). Showed me how much of a theme putting together the pieces of the memory jig saw has been for quite some time. And trying to integrate my perceptions of events with other people's insistence that the facts are different.
On top of everything else I've done over the last couple of days, I had a pretty full-on session with my psychologist wednesday which left me needing some percolation time over the next day and a half. About all the times I've had contact with police and how they have come to be a trauma trigger for me rather than representing help and protection. The more I spoke on the topic, the more details I remembered. Won't detail events here, but it was never because I was a criminal. I had never covered this topic despite many years and many psychologists.
Hope today is a good one for you and that you have heard back from NDIS by now.
Haven't caught up on posts since Tuesday yet so sorry if I've missed anything you've shared. Take care
