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05-08-2017 03:25 AM
05-08-2017 03:25 AM
Hi I'm new here
Hi been struggling a lot lately I have bipolar and ptsd complex. Recently my brother whom I haven't spoken to in years rang me. He got my number off my mum and she knows that I don't wish to have anything to do with him. My brother is a lot older than me and sexually abused me for years. Now decades later he rings. At first I thought mum mustn't be ok why else would he ring. Well he's been accussed of abusing his 5 year old and my statements and reports he hadn't read supposedly til now are getting subpoenaed for this recent case of his. He asked me to lie and say I made it all up. At this point I tell him get f**ked and hang up. Well mum then hounds me. So I had to break ties and change my number which hurts that mum puts my abuser before me. Still never understand that. After that I wasn't prepared for my mental health to deteriorate. I went backwards in time and started having severe ptsd symptoms. This was a month ago. Then on top of that my ex for two days now has started driving and parking down street. Dvo has expired so nothing cops can do. No witnesss. All this has made me suicidal. And I started to get thing in order, they uped my anti depressant and last two days haven't slept at all. My mind is racing again. Loosing my mum again cos of this shit after I forgave her got years and let her in my children's life. She's a good Nanna we live in different states and just before I got the dreaded call she was visiting us and the boys don't understand. It feels like this season will never end and I'm tired of reliving my past. I have lots of tools but now they want me to do exposure treatment with this clinical Physcologist to get over my ex but having the recent stuff rehash of my brother I don't know if I can handle remembering on purpose.
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05-08-2017 03:57 AM
05-08-2017 03:57 AM
Re: Hi I'm new here
Hi Gypsy
Welcometo our fourm family - you are most welcome
Your mother and brother are in the wrong here - you are being under-valued that being abused is a terrible thing - there are a lot of people here you have suffered such abuse and it seems to me that your brother is not sorry that he has done something wrong but only sorry he has been charged
And it's terrible sad that your mother has sided with him - how disappointing for you - I am so sorry - this thas been traumatic for you
And in addition your ex is harriassing you again - alas you will have to go through the process of getting another order against him and as soon as possible
No wonder you feel suicidal - it is a terrible pity that other people's bad behaviour has driven you so badly
I am really glad you have written this here - I hope there is someone about who has experienced this themself and can be more helpfuil
All the best
Dec
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05-08-2017 04:06 AM - edited 05-08-2017 04:07 AM
05-08-2017 04:06 AM - edited 05-08-2017 04:07 AM
Re: Hi I'm new here
Hi @Gypsy7, welcome to the forum.
There are a lot of very stressful things going on in your life at present and I sympathise. Given this, I understand why you may feel it's not a good time to 'remember on purpose' things from the past. I too have bipolar complicated by past trauma. Last year I was offered a therapy called EMDR to help deal with my traumas. For various reasons, I refused this treatment. You too are well within your rights to decline to take part at this time. I think you have valid reasons for your reluctance with this therapy.
For me it's important that, as much as possible, I take responsibility for my own choices in treatment, and not be afraid to say yes or no to things as I see it. Ultimately, we are the ones who have the most experience with our lives.
I don't have a lot of experience with the kinds of things arising with your brother, mother and ex. I'm hoping someone else might respond to your post to give you specific support there.
Welcome again. I hope you find the forum a rewarding experience, and helpful in your mental health journey.
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05-08-2017 09:09 AM
05-08-2017 09:09 AM
Re: Hi I'm new here
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05-08-2017 09:28 AM
05-08-2017 09:28 AM
Re: Hi I'm new here
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05-08-2017 09:07 PM
05-08-2017 09:07 PM
Re: Hi I'm new here
Hi @Gypsy7,
I'm really glad that you have found your way to Forum Land. I hope you can feel supported here. I felt so sad reading your story - what a horrendous experience you have had over such a long time. I don't have children so I can only imagine how awful it must be for you to have been apart from your boys for so long.
The situation with your brother and your mum also sounds horrible. It is totally understandable that you are struggling so much at the moment.
I'm afraid I don't have anything actually helpful to say, but I wanted you to know that I have read your story. Thank you for sharing it and hopefully I will see you around in Forum Land.
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05-08-2017 09:37 PM
05-08-2017 09:37 PM
Re: Hi I'm new here
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07-08-2017 11:54 AM
07-08-2017 11:54 AM
Re: Hi I'm new here
That is so bad that you have to be suicidal to get help @Gypsy7
It seems to me it would be better all around to have help a long time before one gets that bad
I am glad you get some support from the Mental Centre where you volunteer and also have made some friends
It's really hard to have faith in a system that seems or does let you down - we are not all the same - and it's really rough relying on the public system
I do wish you the best
Dec