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confusedbpd
Contributor

Newbie looking for support

Hi, please forgive any spelling errors along the way. Since the age if 10 I have felt different never really fitted in, or my emotions have been pretty full on. I haven't been diagnosed but from read post I feel like I'm reading my life story. I struggled to make friends when I was young probably to clinging. Now at the age of 45 still don't fit in, I feel that at work I'm the loner that everyone things is different. Which effect me in my confidence and other way. At times I just want to scream and cry

10 REPLIES 10

Re: Newbie looking for support

I am in the same boat. You are not alone.

Re: Newbie looking for support

Thank you 

Re: Newbie looking for support

hi @confusedbpd and welcome

can i ask if you have some supports in place that you could talk to as well? i have been diagnosed with bpd and im happy to talk to you if that would help.
i dont feel like i fit in either, i struggle with friendships and relationships in general so im often the loner everywhere i go too.

Re: Newbie looking for support

also if you put an @ symbol in front of the members name itll tag them for you so we get a notifcation.

Re: Newbie looking for support

@outlander  At this stage, I don't have supports in place. I am going to my GP's soon. I haven't been diagnosed as such at this stage, but due to past trauma in my childhood and actually understanding that I seem to be the one never to fit in, as well as other things that have happened along my journey in life. Have had to admit to myself that I need to work with someone to manage my extreme emotions 

Re: Newbie looking for support

hi @confusedbpd welcome to the forums Cat Happy

 

I'm in my mid forties too but I'm unemployed & have been for 7 years due to my mental illness. So at least you have a job, that's a big plus.

 

I found medication helped with my extreme emotions, I suffer from rage and very strong impulses to burn bridges when I feel invalidated or offended. which is the last thing I need as I am very lonely & can't afford to burn bridges.

 

Hopefully your GP can refer you to some useful supports and you can try some different treatment methods & find something that works for you.

 

I have worked really hard for the past 2 years to establish and maintain a group of friends and bonds with family. It has been extremely hard work and problems still come up with my relationships but my life is now so much better that I have friends and family, I fit in more & have people who care about me. If I can do it I'm sure you can too as I was the most isolated person I ever met. It just takes trial & error and a lot of hard work.

 

I'm sure things will improve for you in the future.

Re: Newbie looking for support

@BryanaCamp I have burnt many bridges over the years with friends and not have many family members in my life. 

I do struggle to keep working part-time is best for me as I can feel the rage build up and my inner voice tells me to stay calm. Not an easy task at all. I do take medication for depression but I really do hope there are other options out there for me. 

U am glad to hear that you have been able to build relationships with family and friends 

Re: Newbie looking for support

hi @confusedbpd
thats ok and im glad that youll be seeing your gp. Trauma in general can make life very hard as well. You could perhaps take a look into PTSD as well, quite a few bpd traits are similar to those of ptsd as well.
well done on admitting and allowing yourself to get some help with your mental health, i know that can be quite a challange in itself

Re: Newbie looking for support

@outlander I have read up on ptsd, but am still convinced with the things I have done over the years and the way I perceive things bpd fits. 

I woul also think it runs in my family as I can see similarities with others from my past and all find it very easy to cut people out of our lives. 

 

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