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Re: Sharing my life with Ms Sophie (Bipolar II)

Hi @Sophie1 

Checking in to see how you are going. Hoping your infection is a lot better.  

 

Any relief in sight for the migraine situation? 

Re: Sharing my life with Ms Sophie (Bipolar II)

Hi @Former-Member 

 

infection finally gone - just ever so slight cough left ... but I’m feeling sooooo much better - so nice to have energy back ... I’m playing cello , swimming even once and back at work 

 

my ms S is struggling with headaches still but taking positive steps to help resolve - not as much self care as i would like - she never does neck exercise or exercise full stop and I think this slows the healing wellness situation considerably- but you can’t force anyone to do anything ..., urghhhh grrrr sigh ...,, 

 

how is mr D ? And his are you ? 

Re: Sharing my life with Ms Sophie (Bipolar II)

Glad to hear you are heaps better. 😀 Neck pain could be a contributor to the headaches too @Sophie1 .  

Tired here - Mr Darcy howling loudly for a good 30 -45 mins around midnight 😬

Re: Sharing my life with Ms Sophie (Bipolar II)

@Former-Member  Hang in there and look after yourself xxxx

Re: Sharing my life with Ms Sophie (Bipolar II)

You too @Sophie1 😀

Re: Sharing my life with Ms Sophie (Bipolar II)

@Former-Member  Hi there Darcy ... hope you are doing ok ... we had a blip day ... MsS was crying today and sharing how she felt like a waste of space and that she didn’t understand why everything’s so hard for her and on it went ... 

 

i was wondering when you say Mr D wails at night what do you really mean ? How do you deal with it ? I just don’t know if I can do something differently to help her when she feels so lost and depressed ??? 

 

Then of course a few hours later she is hypo and cooking dinner and washing dishes and then two hours later at 830pm over tired and exhausted and incredibly clumsy tired motor skills and cognitive ability very low and like putting a child to bed who has been up way too late and can’t function anymore - hate to say it like putting a drunk person to bed ... 

 

and then I’m left to ruminate on the day and wonder why this happened today and not other days ... medication timing was a bit out for a midday dose which didn’t help that’s for sure .. and then a cider was had at pre dinner which could explain the sudden drowsiness shortly after dinner ... then there was the holiday planning talk earlier on the day - did this cause anxiety ??? Part of her depressed rant today She did say She felt bad she didn’t earn much money and that we couldn’t afford to travel to see family or just travel for us much at all because of her ... 

 

mmm does any of this sound familiar Darcy - any advice from a seasoned fellow carer/partner ??? 

Re: Sharing my life with Ms Sophie (Bipolar II)

My heart so very often plummets when Mr D starts crying and I too feel helpless @Sophie1. Since his attempt I have only seen the smallest of glimpses of hope and so often feel are negated by these sessions.  The fact that his crying often sounds louder than the baboon enclosure at the zoo does not help ... when he is howling he is inconsolable. If he lets me I just rest a hand on him and acknowledge the grief he has, I just keep it vague and say things like "it is tough sweetheart"  "there is a lot of grief".  When he is not crying I would be more likely to expand and acknowledge we do need to make adjustments and whilst it is different to before, we can still have joy.  

 

Sophie, I have stopped trying to work out why Mr D is anxious today and just view it as part of his new reality. I stopped looking for triggers a long time ago.  I used to to think that  if we did or didn't do certain things, his depression might be preventable. Even though my heart sinks,  I know Mr Darcy is doing what is needed to manage his disorder,  taking meds, making lifestyle changes; we are doing what is humanly possible to prevent relapse. I found micromanaging exhausting and as long as I am supportive in an appropriate way I can no less prevent a relapse as much as I cannot prevent a heart attack.   

 

Sadly the disorder is cyclical, so there will be times when action is needed such as when depression appears to be worsening, certainly if Mr D was to become delusional / psychotic or started mentioning suicide I would raise immediate concerns.  At present he is getting distressed that he is crying so much so I have said I would get in touch with his case worker to see if an earlier appointment would be warranted.  I will put together my observations and send an email.  

 

There  is grief and loss that comes with a diagnosis,  the inability to hold down a job etc. along with ongoing living grief - not being able to do everything we would like to such as Ms S and travel but at the end of the day focusing on what remains, not what has been taken away is more helpful.  (Mr D is not able to do that as yet).  There are a lot of free events around and going to these or taking even a sandwich if  not a nicer picnic lunch to places of natural beauty can help keep our lives full. Sometimes this comes at the expense of the R & R we would like to have at home with the pets following a busy week.   A holiday from home, seeing local sights that one never seems do, can also be fun.

 

Given the clash between meds and alcohol are well documented, we are pretty much teetotallers (me in sympathy), a very occasional social drink is it.  I see it as part of holistic support along with some of the other lifestyle adjustments that make for better outcomes for Mr D. In any event, socially we tend to go out more for coffee so not really missing it even when we catch up with friends.  I think if you notice that a predinner drink = crying later, perhaps best to avoid it.

 

Hope this helps a little.  

 

 

 

 

 

Re: Sharing my life with Ms Sophie (Bipolar II)

@Former-Member  I can’t thankyou enough for such a considered and detailed response - hugely helpful for me - I even read it to MsS and it made her feel like she wasn’t alone in her struggles and that others fight this terrible condition too 

 

we are starting a new medication after seeing psychiatrist yesterday to help with migraines - so I’m working from home around Ms S appts so I can drive her as the new med makes her dopey at first as she gets used to it - I hope it eases off soon 

 

anyway off to trauma therapist now for MsS appt and then osteopath for MsS neck ... I work in between on laptop while I wait and then when we get home into early evening - lucky my work is so flexible and understanding - 

 

i am so greatful for your support and my work place support thankyou Darcy 

Re: Sharing my life with Ms Sophie (Bipolar II)

@Former-Member @Smc @Determined Ms S had a rapid cycle today again but more obvious hypomanic when friend visited today for lunch Ms S recounted same story theee times in 10mins, dropped an egg on bench while trying to make omelette, fell up the stairs and dropped a full cup of coffee on the balcony then there was the exhaustion and bed from 1pm onwards  ... not to mention cutting her hand while washing sharp utensil in sink pre lunch ... which she only confessed at 8pm and when I saw the cut and asked if she’d disinfected it I got the no answer and then when I asked to have a proper look I realised we were off to doc for stitches as it was quite deep ... lucky they were able to glue it and gave her a tetanus injection ... 

 

so anyway I texted the psychiatrist as I was worried and he said bring her to see him this week as soon as I could - which means ring his receptionist tomoz first thing and ask for emergency appt ... 

 

she is definitely rapid cycling I have no doubt now after today and will be sure to watch her carefully as her clumsiness and Rushed ness worry me 

 

 

now I am having trouble switching ids and have no idea how I’ll balace work and other commitments this week urghhhh hours ata time I suppose 

Re: Sharing my life with Ms Sophie (Bipolar II)

Yikes @Sophie1  I would be checking CMIs/drug interactions in relation to side effects esp if clumsiness worse since headache med introduced.  

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