Lived Experience Forum

[Borobi]

I am really struggling.  This year began really well.  Was in a relationship with someone I adored.  She had been through a lot of trauma in life but was quite remarkable.  had fallen deeply in love with her and her daughter.  We were both happy and never had any disagreement.  It all came to a sudden end just after Valentine's Day over a stupid misunderstanding.  She had two weeks before gone into a panic thinking I was seeing other people.   I wasn't and would never do that to someone else.  It was just insecurity on her part but got through that.  Then two weeks later ended up being dumped by text. She has struggled with PTSD over the years it seems.  She said so herself.   over the past 15 months I have been helping a lot of people who have been the victims of a scammer and a number of those people have been quite desperate.   helping these people has really brought me undone

  it's consumed so much of my time on top of my day job and has taken a toll - the regulators charged with dealing with it have been slow or disinterested. numerous people have lost a huge part of their life savings. For speaking up I was targeted by some dodgy people and  was warned to be concerned about my welfare.  Work has been really challenging as it has been for so many others.  My brother who lives overseas but trying to get back here struggles with bipolar and has been really unwell.  My brother in law lost his mum last week and with lockdown my nieces and newphew didn't get to see her for months.  She had a heart attack in her garden  went into a coma and didn't wake.  She passed a few days after her heart attack.  I've reached out to mates but they have their lives and families and I'm just falling apart.  I've had to walk away from work for a while and I don't expect to have a job when I am able to go back.  Depression is really gripping me and I don't know which way is up at the moment 

[Sahara]

Hi @Borobi ,

welcome to the forums, and I am sorry to hear that you have been struggling. It sounds like there is a lot going on in your life right now.

You sound like you are a very caring and conscientious person, helping others who have been scammed. Sometimes when we spend a lot of time and energy helping other people, we can burn out and find that there is not enough compassion left for ourselves. This has happened to me numerous times, unfortunately. It might be time to take a step back and let other people deal with the scamming thing. 

You are lucky to have mates to reach out to.... it's just that people have such busy lives, they may not even notice that you are feeling down. I remember wen I got very unwell with depression in the past and no-one noticed. Even when I told people how I was struggling, they looked like they didn't actually believe me, because I was still going to work and still doing the house-work and still able to smile. I looked normal, therefore I must be okay, according to them.

I guess one of the problems is that people in the community in general really don't know what to do or say when someone has depression, because they are not experienced and don't see the signs. 

It would be a good idea to go and chat with your G.P. about how you are feeling and maybe get a referral to a psychologist. That is what I did and in the end it was just such a relief to talk about everything that was bothering me. To have someone there who has real experience in dealing with depression was so valuable to me. I actually felt like I was being heard for the first time in my life.

Also you are welcome to write your heart out here, as many of us do. 

[Lilaca]

Hi @Borobi,

It's good to hear that you took the courage to investigate the scammers. It's not easy to be whistleblowers here as the laws ironically are against you. I have been in your position too, so I understand. I was naive back then, and just said the truth which happens to be the elephant in the room. Everyone knew about it, but just looked away. Later I read many cases in regards to whistleblowers on the news, and disappointingly they faced lots of ramificaations for standing up to justice. 

Recently I came across this guy who had his story written in the book "Unholy Trinity". I hope this will not trigger you, but as a police officer, this guy stood up to his values and tried to protect the victims. Alas, he could not catch the culprits due to their status and power. He pretty much lost everything after; his career, family, etc. It was only in his later years that his story was acknowledged, but by then, the victims' number had grown. Many were young and ended up broken. He was compensated by his past employment and ended up marrying someone too. 

Everyone goes through rough phases at some point in their lives so take it easy. Relationship will come together if it's meant to be and the right employment will come at the right time. Death is just the circle of life and there's always new beginning after.

I hope you are feeling better but otherwise this is a good place to vent. 

[Tufftimes]

Hi, just read your comment. As a PTSD survivor, and mother of 3, with MH issues, 2 diagnosed, eldest refused to be, ex .... doesnt matter, I get you, people care okay, take it easy, get a Medical Certificate for time off work, or tell work you are leaving, YOU are most important at this time, nothing or nobody else, take time out, relax, recover ... yep may take ages, nobody has a right to judge okay, just look after you right now.  Yep, I am really great at advising others lol, but trying to do same myself.  Take care,as even unknown people do, okay, hang in there, IT WILL GET BETTER 🙂