Lived Experience Forum

[kato]

Hey yeah I have blue tooth in my car that I bought 2 years ago

I am lost at the moment everything is getting hard

One of our close friends came to us a few days ago for help.... it has been a nice distraction from facing our own reality,

They are going to the hospital for voluntary admission tonight and we are taking them.

So much easier helping and distracting then dealing with myself

I am full of guilt and shame I slept through my g.p appt today and missed getting a health plan done.

I have failed to uphold my promise tp mu wife and to myself

I would like to thank everyone for having this forum accessible for me to wrote my nonsense

[Alessandra1992]

What's with the guilt and shame kato? Unless it is going to motivate you, don't indulge in wasting your precious energy in that negative self talk. You slept in..that's ordinary for most of us! Raise your hands for all of us consumers who have had bed moments when we are fragile and lost.

Maybe you might need to set a couple of alarms to keep you awake, and can your wife help you get to your appointment?

One strategy that used to work for me was to schedule my appointment first thing in the morning. That stopped me worrying about it all day. But I did have remindwr alarms set and my hubby to help get me out of the front door..

[CherryBomb]

@kristin  and @kato 

Unfortunately giving out the names of specific doctors on the forums or via email is not possible. It's a bit of pickle, actually, and I would love to hear your thoughts on this as it is an issue that is yet to be reconciled. 

On one hand, we certainly do see the benefits of members recomending practitioners. Yet, on the other hand, we are concerned that it may lead to false expectations because individual people can have individual experiences. What one finds helpful, another can find useless. This is partly why, in the reverse situation, we don't permit people to disclose 'bad' information about doctors (there can also be a fine line in terms defamation of character, which we try to stay clear of). So if we don't permit negative recommendations, how can we be expected to allow positive recommendations when experiences are so unique?

At the same time, we would like to allow conversations and information to flow (safely) on the forums. 

This is an issue that the SANE Forums team is yet to work through. So if you have any input and suggestions please let us know! 

[kato]

Aight I have an idea regarding such a recommendation system. 

Due obviously to legalities imvolved it cannot just be passed to the other in a public posting

If you can setup a place to input the info and why that goes to the sane forum team

The team then reviews it, looks into both the dr and pwrspn being recommended, ie. Look at what the pwrson being recommended has been posting and if the onfo might be beneficial. 

The team then emails the person getting the recommendation stating of they would like to recieve it, appropriate disclaimers of legal ramifications ie. Cannot hold sane forum or its workers or members of any legal action in regards to recieving and or using provided info.

Someone smarter than me can come up with all that jargon.

@Alessandra1992 I know I shouldn't waste my time or be down regarding sleeping past it.... However I set multiple alarms to try and get up.... it is ongoing and frustrates me, I know tho it is a warning that I am plunging headfirst and fast into a low point..... 

My wife tries and tries and tries to get me up and out of bed but to no avail, it affects her as my first big break the big thing that takes her emotionally back was I wouldn't get out of bed.

We realized today that my first psychologist gave really poor advice to me and her regarding the situation and implied that my wife couldn't just take me to a hospital if I got worse - I was already really bad and got even worse- it was implied to my wife to stick to what we were doing. .... it bought us both back memories of that horrific time,

It is partly why I am struggling with maintaining my mask of awesome that I wear so well others don't see any reason to believe that I might have any dramas with my health lol 

I laugh when I write down something that is very truthful to lighten my mood lol

Probably should just cry, but I don't I stay ridiculous and strong lol

Well going to bed see ya all soon

[BatGuano]

Perhaps there might be a private messaging function within this site for posters to communicate directly with each other. Then email addresses could be exchanged, and any information in those emails would not be made public and would not be connected with this site.

[CherryBomb]

Thanks Kato and BatGuano,

** Jotting down suggestions in note pad** 

I'll let you know of any progress in this area once I know anything more. 

Hope you're having lovely weekend! 

[Alessandra1992]

Hey Kato, just wanted you to know i understand that "stuck in bed" feeling. It is really hard to push through. And it seems especially hard if youre torn between the mask of being OK, when inside you're anything but OK.

Who would normally call on if your wife wasn't around? Can yr family visit and keep you company? Is there a gp willing to visit you at home? Or community mental health worker?

With the idea of referring to specialists..well the other way of viewing it is to come up with a list of questions that we could ask dr's, relevant to our needs. Have you specialised in trauma informed care? When? Do you work with voices? What r yr thoughts on open dialogue model in Finland? How many of your clients have experienced childhood trauma? What styles of therapy do you use in helping clients manage their mental health? Eg ACT, CBT, DBT, Gestalt, Mindfulness..how long does it take your clients to recover, or improve? What is your client mix? Do you have any particular areas of expertise? Family therapy, males, children?

Sort of like coming up with the sorts of therapies that are working or communication styles that are helping..finding the right person can take a lot of work, and for some people, especially in regional or remote areas, there nay be very little choice available anyway..

[CherryBomb]

@kato  

Heya, I just noticed your post from the 16th of Sep asking me what I was going to write! Sorry, it slipped off my radar... Now that it's been a while, I can't remember what I was going to write. 

[kristin]

Hey JJ,

I can't remember whether I've said welcome - so if not then welcome! If I have already then consider yourself doubly so. 

I understand your wariness of psychologists. You are right - bad ones can be dangerous (there are definitely very good ones around too). Unfortunately the same goes for psychiatrists, or other doctors. In my experience the best thing is to vet them thoroughly, and so much the better if they also come with personal recomendation from someone you trust - if possible.

First rule in my book is listen closely to my intuition: do I feel safe/comfortable with this person? If I don't (whether it be for a consciously discernible reason or not) then I'm out of there. Thankfully I've been extremely blessed with ones who met my needs for growth-supporting therapy at the time, and when they no longer did I moved on. Over the last 20 years I've seen 3 psychiatrists, 3 psychologists and 1 bushfire trauma counsellor (for periods ranging from one session to 1 - 7 years) - and all except one (a psychiatrist) of whom have been excellent in many ways.

Kind regards,

Kristin

[kristin]

Hi CB,

I think the recommendations could be done if there were

i) a clear set of guidelines

ii) a general SANE disclaimer about this not being the opinion of the organisation etc,

and iii) a disclaimer that different people may have a different experience with the same dr.

This is only good sense after all.

For example I have a wonderful GP - with me she "gets it" and I find her amazingly supportive and willing to go the extra 10miles if necessary, but I know of others (people who have become my friends) who saw her at one time and found she didn't get it at all - and they won't see her. I think she is sufficiently good for me to recommend her to others, but I am both disappointed and respectful when I find this has not been their experience.

As with so many things human it is not OSFA (one size fits all) but rather the right fit. 

Kind regards,

Kristin