Lived Experience Forum

[Former-Member]

Morning, @Shaz51, @Appleblossom, @Zoe7, @Bella, @greenpea, @eth, @OhanaSystem, @Snowie, @Hamsolo01, @Wanderer, @Faith-and-Hope, @NatalieS and anyone else I missed and to all who visit my den

How is everyone?

[Zoe7]

Hi @Former-Member I just came acoss this post - it seems that your tagging didn't work Hon - you may need to try tagging people individually again - annoying yes but others may not have got the tag either.

How are you doing? I know it has been really tough for you for a few weeks now but hoping you are getting through each day a little better than the one before.

I have been watching a series I recorded along with doing a little housework today. There is still a lot to do but will leave that until a bit later today. Other than that I am doing ok - having a better day today and that is a win!

[Faith-and-Hope]

Hi @Former-Member @Zoe7 .... anyone else around .... 👋💕

[Former-Member]

Thanks @Zoe7, 

Thanks for the heads up about the tag.

Right now I feel like I'm losing control, it's like I have this ball in my chest and it's gonna explode and I'm afraid that when it does I won't be able to keep together and people that contributed to my childhood pain but are unaware of it will most likely end up in the firing line of my emotional release and stuff I have kept to myself for along time will probably come flooding out, nearly done that this morning. 

[Faith-and-Hope]

Hearing you @Former-Member.

Do you have a counselling or support group you can vent to ?  Sounds like it is all bubbling to the surface.

[Former-Member]

I've been seeing a psychologist @Faith-and-Hope, but at the moment it has been helping this ball grow not defusing it

[Zoe7]

Totally agree with @Faith-and-Hope here @Former-Member when that stuff starts bubbling over you really need some extra support. I find I turn it inwards and instead of it all bubbling over like it is more you I competely shut down - often to the point where I don't care about anything - both extremes for us are very hard.

[Faith-and-Hope]

Well, I am thinking that it is good in a way because it seems to be bringing stuff to the surface, but you might need to let them know that you need help to manage that part of it, because you are in danger of letting loose on everybody around you.

Its one thing to bring it all up, another thing to take responsibility to help manage the aftershocks .....

[Former-Member]

@Faith-and-Hope and @Zoe7,

At the moment I don't trust myself in any situation as I mentioned in the thread titled mother issues in somethings not right section simple comments that shouldn't mean anything or most take as a compliment I nearly completely blew up about. I have been in bed all day trying keep myself stable

[Zoe7]

Haven't read that thread - will have a look now @Former-Member