Functioning with ADHD

[AuntGlow]

I think sometimes replying to people can hold a lost of resistance if adhd brain is flaring! Did you end up reaching out to her at all? @creative_writer 

Let me know when you chat to him please, I would like updates. 

Oh my goodness, I had on yesterday too and it started with auras - I was very overwhelmed! I forgot how spooky they can be. My own anxiety around my health was flaring in that moment too, so know you are not alone. 🥰

[creative_writer]

@AuntGlow maybe it does. I know I could reply, but I just don't. I have some messages to reply to, probably should do those sometime soon.

I'll let you know what the pdoc says. I also have a psych appointment in a week, will update her on everything. I've been super bad with homework during the last month, I feel bad. I honestly forget even with phone reminders. When mental health deteriorates, my ability to do homework goes with it.

Auras are weird, apparently people can get auras but not get a headache. My sister and dad have gotten auras without headaches. My mum has migraines, but she doesn't know if she has ever gotten an aura. My migraines are super sensitive to noise, thinking of getting earplugs. I was also in front of super bright light yesterday, I was wearing amber glasses which took the edge off, but it was still unbearable. Watching an ADHD simulation is my brain in a nutshell, no wonder why anxiety is super common among us, constant chatter is exhausting. Growing up I was super shy, it wasn't super obvious I was a hyperactive rascal when I was super young though. I think my family saw my hyperactivity more than outsiders, I was super shy around people I did not know. I guess that hyperactivity got internalised into anxiety

[AuntGlow]

In your own time. @creative_writer 

Maybe you could notice how you're feeling before and after you send a message? You could write it down in your notes/journal or send it to me. And that way we can start to create a little mood diary, which can allow us to see where mustering up the effort to do things is helpful vs. contributing to burnout. What do you think? ☺️

I get that, it's honestly so hard to keep on top of these things. You can let her know this, it will help her to support you in the best way for you. 💛

How is your head/body feeling at the moment? 

And yes, that incessant chatter really is exhausting. You're doing so well to manage it all, even when you think you aren't. 

[creative_writer]

@AuntGlow I did end up sending the message eventually. It was okay, I need to reply to another friend who is more active than I am at responding, but I don’t feel bothered right now. I feel bad, especially since this one is super responsive. I need to ask her about the ladies gathering time in almost two weeks.

I’ll let my psych know I’ve been so overwhelmed. I probably should’ve taken a break this afternoon, but I’m like always on the go.

Making dinner right now, I’m super stimulated and tired, to the point of SI, I’m safe. I don’t want to die, but I don’t want to be alive.

Will see how I go this evening, I was meant to attend a zoom at 8-9pm. I guess I could attend it and listen instead of putting pressure on myself to do something.

[tyme]

Sounds like being torn into both worlds can be tough @creative_writer .

I can see how much you are doing to practice self-care, but I also hear that the rest of life can be overwhelming sometimes.

What'd you get up to today?

[AuntGlow]

Good on you for sending a message, that is progress and I want to acknowledge that! How did you feel afterwards? @creative_writer 

Updating your psych will be really helpful. 

I hear you and I appreciate you sharing this with me. I can really see how intense things are feeling for you today. What is something that would help you to feel safe or soothed?

And have you been able to write at all lately?

Listening is more than enough! Sometimes just hearing other peoples' voices can allow us to feel more grounded. 🥰

[creative_writer]

@tyme being torn is hard. I may have been able to make the thoughts disappear in the past, but that’s no longer an option. Med tolerance is a real thing.

I did some cooking, job application and a mini shift for Lifeline, I wasn’t on for long, only on for an hour and a half. I don’t know how I survived the shift, I also have an infection. The stuff coming out of my nose is gross, the infection may have irritated my blood vessel. The heaters don’t help either. I’m left with a metallic aftertaste :nauseated_face:. I’ll follow up with doctor if needed. Did you get up to much today?

@AuntGlow it felt okay. I’m closer to one of the friends, so I was able to be more open. Not sure if I trust the other one, I don’t know her too well, it was mostly to discuss the event thingy happening at her house.

Might try to do some relaxing prayers, need to do my head massage, feeling super tense. I haven’t done much writing lately, I haven’t actually done much lately. I might go to listen, it doesn’t matter if I am unable to write