I can’t cope

[Captain24]

It’s really stressful! @Jynx. Just when she looks like she is going well she has a set back. But a set back isn’t actually ok. 

The hospital said I needed someone to stay overnight with me at home. But I want to be alone. Just don’t want to deal with anyone. 

Oh the memories.. it’s good to have all those memories but at a time like this it is hard as well. Being gentle sounds like a good idea. There is no timeline for grief and you just do what you need to to get through it all. I’m a listening shoulder if you need. I’m thinking of you. 

[Jynx]

@Captain24 it would be so so hard to watch, I imagine you're in massive hypervigilance mode. Poor lil dear, give her some gentle belly rubs from me? 

Do you know what the concern is? Like is it more about you not being alone, or about watching for potential complications or some such? Whatever you end up doing, I hope it's the right choice for you 💜

Aww hun, this is so, so nice to hear. You're right, grief is not beholden to time - it takes as long as it takes. It's nice to know there's others who know what I'm going through. Thank you 🥹

You might enjoy this - my grandma used to pop this little wooden cat silhouette up on one of the light switches in every house I knew her in. So I did the same 😸

[Captain24]

Sorry.. I fell asleep. @Jynx 

She had lots of belly rubs and cuddles. I’m giving her lots of love hoping it helps her get better. I told her that these were from Jynx. It’s exhausting to keep watching her and stressful. I’m glad she wanted to sleep on my bed last night as I can hear her and feel her. 

I think it’s for safety after the anaesthetic. Apparently stuff can happen but I don’t know what. I’ll be asleep and so will they so I don’t see that it matters. But I guess my parents probably won’t give me a choice. At least it’s ten and I can go to bed whenever I want and don’t have to entertain them. 

Awwww… that’s so sweet. I feel like things like that keep her around. It’s a constant memory and it’s just like she would have done. Bless you…