I can’t cope

[Captain24]

I thought it was funny! I saw it last night after I hopped off and was instantly hmmm @tyme 😂 

Yet comes in handy for a lot of things. It is a really handy word! 

Oh..  my anxiety!! You are working it really hard! 😜 

It was ok here today I think it got to 32 so it wasn’t too warm. Heaps better than yesterday, if only got to 28. 

Well…. It’s been a day! 

I went to the GP today. The merina with its hormones, is probably causing mood changes however… it also exacerbates bipolar!!! Lucky me… so maybe I am in a mixed episode like I thought. It should last about 3 months so I could be in for a rocky road. But I just have to monitor and take one day at a time.

I only got a little bit done today, not all that I wanted. Washing, shopping, cleaned 3 bedrooms, dusted the whole house, cleaned the fridge and clean the pantry. I also cleaned the floors. Plus my friends bed has fresh sheets on it. I just couldn’t keep going. I went and layed down trying to get a nap but I can’t switch off. I couldn’t last night either and only got 4 hours. This could be the hypo part of the mixed. 

I have to make a frittata for dinner and clean the main bathroom. I’m thinking a bath might help. 

What did you get up to today? 

[tyme]

So if the merina impacts bipolar, is there anything they can do about it @Captain24 ?

That's so rough. It's always hard to know that something's not right, but you can't pinpoint it. 

LOL with the anxiety.... I think my sister is anxious so she keeps telling me to check for my visa. And THAT is getting me stressed. Not the actualy fact that my visa hasn't come!

Despite things being hard, you still did a fair bit at least. Working on those rooms is a lot.

All the kids on this side are sick. 

Did you make the frittatas? They sound. yummy. Then again, I only ate chocolate cake today. I'm yet to have proper food.

[Captain24]

It should settle down after three months. @tyme. I guess if it doesn’t we will have to go from there. 

I knew something was wrong but I have bipolar, AuDHD, the merima and perimenopause. What is it that it’s wrong! I’m hoping we have narrowed it down. It would be good if we have. At least I know where to start looking now. 

I could imagine your sister stressing you out. At least we are anxious for you since you aren’t! 😜 I guess it’s just a wait and see. If it comes through after you have finished up in here please jump in and let me know!!  

It was a lot, I haven’t cleaned those rooms in ages. I just have half an everything room now! I only have to keep this way for another week! I should be able to do that. 

Oh no.. they have been sick a lot lately. Hopefully they all get it out of there system by next week.. the last thing you need is sick kids in a foreign country. 

Im making it now but I don’t think I have enough veggies but it will have to do! 

I love chocolate cake! Woolies mud cake is my favourite cake! Cut a piece and microwave it for 30 seconds… awesome… 

I had boiled eggs for lunch. I guess at least it was protein. 

[Captain24]

Also @tyme just another post sorry. 

I have over 600 sq/m of backyard! 

 

[tyme]

Did you just post poo on the forums???? @Captain24 Is that word even allowed? I apologise in advance if I offend anyone and I'll remove it, but as soon as I saw that pic, that was the only word I thought of!!!

That's a lot of yard and lawn to handle. I have to say the poo is keeping your lawn healthy and well-fertilised lol.

Also, I'm glad you now know that it's not YOU that is 'wrong', but your whole body going haywire with hormones, chemicals and what nots! I'm confused just thinking about it!!!!

[Captain24]

I did! 😂 @tyme. Yeah remove it as it’s totally not appropriate! He lined up to go on the soaker hose not anywhere else in the massive yard!

It is huge. So when I say I’m mowing the lawn it takes me nearly 3 hours including whipper snippering! That’s way I make it seem like a huge task! 

Im confused too. It’s really overwhelming. I’m not just struggling with one MH condition I have a couple and my age and my surgery. No wonder I feel like I’m going crazy. 

My body is exhausted but I’m wide awake. I’ve had dinner, had my meds, had a shower and I’ve laid in the bath for 15 minutes in the dark with just a candle! I’m still not sleepy! What is wrong with me??? I have to get up at 4:30 in the morning. I need to feel even a little bit tired. I did cope last block with limited sleep on dayshift but I fell in a heap on nightshift and it very nearly ended in disaster. I’m talking really close! 

[tyme]

Oops! Sorry everyone! I edited my post and removed that naughty word. I didnt' know it was 'bad' lol @Captain24 

I heard a kid call another kid "broccoli head" today... it was so funny.. it's like the worst they can say without using 'bad words'.

LOL... so it was Jett that left that nice stuff on the soaker hose? 

Reminds me of my neice and nephew. They kept saying they were hungry so I pointed outside on the deck and I said "Go out there and eat some brown sausages!" Ruby had left some nice brown sausages out there lol

Your shift work has always been a worry for me. A well well person would struggle with it, let alone someone going through so many MH struggles and physical challenges! You are more resilient than you give yourself credit for!

[Captain24]

I’m still laughing about it! @tyme 

Yes he did. He doesn’t like the hose as he hates water and it gets him at times and he glares at me. 

‘Broccoli head’ is a little bit different! The things they come up with. 

Im sure you got ‘told’ especially the fire cracker. There is a few when you have 2 dogs. Jett doesn’t like to go far so they are near the verandah. I have to pick those ones up but otherwise I just let the lawn mower pick ‘em up. 

You kinda get use to yet.. or should I say better at it. It is hard but it’s a distraction. I couldn’t work Monday to Friday as I need the days off but it’s just 5 full on days/nights and there is t really a lot of time to do anything just work and sleep. I do think that it does take some strength even in the darkest of times. There was one night that ES was called on me and I went to work the next morning. It took some talking my way out of being taken to hospital though. 

But in saying all of that, I need to pay my mortgage. 

My mind is struggling with everything that is going on. It just feels too much and it’s non-stop. It’s just racing.

After everything I’m still not tired. I even took prn and I never take it. 

Gor any tips that I don’t already do? I even tried a mediation last night and hate them. 

[tyme]

I think I've spoken to you about shakti mats? The pain is intense!!! I'm on one right now and I'm cringing! I haven't been on it for a long time and I just remembered it. It's so so painful, but satisfyingly painful.. 

You have to get used to the spikes and it takes time. Just a few minutes each day... wow... 

Please note I'm not telling you to go get one! @Captain24 

But yeah. I wonder if when our mind if not the best, something like a shakti mat helps ground us? 

I know someone who can stand on a shakti mat... in all these years, I've never been able to stand on one. I can only lie down or put my feet on a one. I have a shakit pillow too. I bought them quite a few years ago and forgot about them until recently.

https://www.shaktimats.com.au/?gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=13168003674&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI7LTyiuGjkQM...

[Bow]

I have a spikey mat and I love it. It’s good for grounding. I love the spikes. The pain. I lay on it with no shirt and just throw a light blanket over the top of me. Have also used it when I’ve had a bad headache and it’s helped heaps @tyme @Captain24