I just can't.

[Faith-and-Hope]

❤️ @The-red-centaur ..... sitting with you.

[The-red-centaur]

@Faith-and-Hope I told staff about some of the stuff behind why I'm scared of him. I feel so crap now though. I'm scared what's going to happen now.

[Faith-and-Hope]

That was really brave @The-red-centaur, and the right thing to do for yourself in terms of healing.  It’s never easy though, and it will be a bit nerve-wracking while the next part sorts out, but this might also get him moved, and quickly.   You have to look after you, and the staff will be obliged to prioritise you now too, but they needed something more to go on than just being afraid of him for some unknown reason .....

Sitting with you .... keep strong ..... ❣️

[The-red-centaur]

@Faith-and-Hope there's nothing that could be done atm. But they're doing a report to the organisation and to stuff. More will be sorted out on Monday after the weekend. But that's when I'm going home.

[Faith-and-Hope]

The timing sucks in that regard @The-red-centaur, being a weekend and all, but you may have helped others on the process.  If they receive other complaints about him, yours will be a support to the other claims too.  In that way you are doing something in response to what happened to you .... I know it in no way fixes it, but helping you to recover is so important, and I am hoping it has helped you feel a fraction less powerless.  

You have a voice, and you matter.

[The-red-centaur]

@Faith-and-Hope the staff member emailed my case manager and called her bosses boss and the boss of the organisation that runs my accommodation (who happened to actually be the same person)

Talking about some of the stuff triggered flashbacks and reminded me of other stuff that's happened to me. I am such a stupid person for letting any of that stuff happen

[The-red-centaur]

My meds are kicking in I need sleep

[Faith-and-Hope]

People harming other people is not your fault, but I know it can be very hard to convince yourself of that when you have been so badly hurt.  Your mh team will help you.  You have helped you to get yourself away from him.

Sitting with you @The-red-centaur .....

[The-red-centaur]

The guy is getting to me today @Faith-and-Hope
What happened was my fault though. I can't really say what it was though. And the fact I let it happen more than once is defiantly my fault.

[Faith-and-Hope]

It’s not necessarily your fault @The-red-centaur if you didn’t know how to say no, or stop him from what he wanted to do, or didn’t know the harm it could cause you, or your judgement was impaired by past experiences or substance abuse ......

And even if he is unwell, which you would have to presume, he has a responsibility over his own actions, particularly if he was older and you were very young.

Part of coming to terms with it al, is understanding boundaries, and your therapist will help you work things out so you can begin to heal.  The most important thing in the moment now is protecting you from further harm.

Practice deep breathing when you are feeling really anxious @The-red-centaur ....it can really help to calm down your whole system, including spiralling thoughts.

Sitting with you.