Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Former-Member]

@Former-Member ...

[Former-Member]

Hi @Former-Member

Your pics were beautiful and touched me deeply - thank you. 

Words really don't seem enough for what you are going through presently - I do hope we can ease that a bit for you. You are incredibly strong - I know I say that a lot because I understand the heavy load you are under. Hubby doesn't sound too good, I was sorry to read this. How are you holding up Sherry?

Alcoholism can definitely cause extreme mood swings and aggression. Is there somewhere you can keep to yourself away from your husband when he comes home this evening? I am worried of the physical and mental ramifications if he provokes you into an arguement. I am worried for you. Please keep safe my friend, this is so not fair on you. Ring someone or pop out for awhile if it gets out of hand.

I do hope you both get a chance to enjoy your step-daughter and family - that would be so special for both of you and break up the tension abit.

Thanks for asking after my husband. He is in chronic pain and I do try and keep up a smile but as you would know - it's hard to watch. I sometimes find myself getting depressed, so I try and do things like go out for a bit etc to help lift myself so I am better to look after him. We have to see a specialist in February regarding possible neck surgery as it is putting pressure on his spine. Not sure how we will deal with this and moving (putting our present house up for sale in February). Life does throw curveballs. My daughter's current relationship is already causing her distress - so I have to keep a close eye on her too. My anxiety levels are rising. It's a day at a time presently.

We will walk this through together dear Sherry - please keep safe this evening. Thinking of you 💐💕

[Former-Member]

@Former-Member hoping family visit going ok.

[Former-Member]

Hi @Former-Member. Sorry it took me a few days to return your message. Yes too right, alcoholism is a real bummer!  Aggression, temper, depression, you get the full spectrum of emotions sometimes.  Then you add the steriods onto it and its a very volatile mix.  The increased dose is helping his immune related side effects and inflamation, but certainly not his mood. I guess we have to concentrate on one thing at a time.

When he's drunk and gets violent, I go for a walk down the paddock somewhere usually. I can't stay near him on those occasions, I really need to get away, for both our sakes.

I'm sorry your husband continues to have the chronic pain issues. It sounds bad. Hopefully the specialist will be able to do something to help.  Mmm, yes you do have a lot on in the month of February.  Sorry to hear also that your daughter is having some relationship difficulties on top of her other problems of late. Is her leg okay now, and back at work again?

Hi @Former-Member.  Thanks for thinking of us.  Yes the family visit went really well. They head home in the morning. The grandkids were great. Really nice kids - well behaved, polite, thoughtful, just what you want to see. Our neighbour has a lovely swimming pool which they said we were very welcome to use. So the kids had a ball there. Daughter seemed upset at her dad's loss of weight and overall health difficulties, although I had warned her. He wasnt well enough to go out anywhere so we stayed at home, and they came to us, which was nice anyway. Hubby had been a little better earlier in the day, and I was hopeful he'd be okay for the day. But he tired very badly and had clearly done too much by the end of the 5 hour visit and early dinner. Hopefully hubby sleeps well tonight and feels better again in the morning.

Sherry

[Former-Member]

@Former-Member @Former-Member
Thinking of you both with your double challenges... husbands illness + alcohol / daughter.

[Faith-and-Hope]

Me too .... ❣️

Wishing you courage and faith ......

@Former-Member @Former-Member

[Former-Member]

Thank you @Former-Member @Former-Member

@Former-Member - please never feel you have to rush a reply or reply at all. You are under enough pressure and I totally get it. Good to read that you have a place to escape when you need to - the beauty of acres!. I so miss that space! My escape is to ocean now.

Yes my husband is in chronic pain. Has been for some many years now. The neck surgery is daunting. I think I am effected and concerned than he is though - he is so stoic and never lets it stop him from doing anything. He is always helping me and others. Although he has to watch overdoing it lest he gets sick - so I put my foot down and do a lot for him too in the caring role.

I can only deal with life one day at a time as thinking ahead or worrying will just overwhelm me and achieve nothing but anxiety. I hang onto hope and faith that it will all work out somehow. I spend time crosss stitching, gardening and walking along the beach to help relax and keep strong. I pray lots. 

My daughter has improved drastically but she still has not fully recovered from the extreme abuse she endured at the hands of her ex and her subsequent attempt mid last year and struggles with the scars. She rushes into relationships too and this can serve as a trigger if she is hurt again. We have told her to be careful and if this fellow she is with treats her bad to give him the flick for her protection - she said she would be careful and would do the latter but she attaches and fears abandonment (she suffers BPD). So she battles with conflicting emotions making it hard for her at times.

And good news - for the first time she has expressed her need to see someone to talk about what she went through with ex. Finally 🙏. There should be even more progress made then hopefully. But being a typical mother I am extra still extra sensitive to her pain. I have to let go a bit. Her knee is improving and she is back at work and they are giving her extra training, more hours and experience which is great at the moment. 

Good to read that you and hubby enjoyed your family. I hope hubby picks up soon and that you are okay. Thanks for thinking of me.

Hi @Former-Member - how is your husband now? How are you going? I hope I am not making you repeat yourself - I don't always have the opportunity to read posts. You are always so thoughtful and caring and I appreciate this highly. Thinking of you 💐

Sending a warm shout out and wave to @Determined

[Former-Member]

Hi @Former-Member

Thinking of you through these difficult days.

[Former-Member]

Hey @Former-Member @Former-Member
No need to reply, letting you know you continue to be in thoughts and prayers.

[Shaz51]

Thinking of you lots @Former-Member, @Former-Member