Lived Experience Forum

[Shaz51]

beautiful picture @Appleblossom 

good morning @Peri , @Emelia8 

hello @Eve7 , @Former-Member xxxx

[Peri]

Thank you for the picture @Appleblossom 

@it is beautiful 

peri

[outlander]

thinking of you @Peri

[Eve7]

Good Afternoon @Shaz51 

hope your day has gone well

💙🧡💙

[Peri]

This is just a new post, not really a reply to anyone.

i am really fighting to stay here, both on the forums and in my life. I am so sad and low I don’t know why particularly. I am sick of analysing. I don’t feel very well physically and none of the meds I take make my brain any better. I really want some joy in my life. And I just see it slipping away,  

i want to see my son in England. I wanted see my other grandchildren. And I want to die quietly

 and pleas I don’t want a notice from a moderator giving me advice about who to call. I won’t be calling tham. 

What is wrong with the world when people are believing the prattling of politicians over scientists and doctors?  It has fine mad 

peri

[Emelia8]

Hello there @Peri ... I have been thinking of you a lot lately, and thought a couple of times to track down your thread to post to you.  So I'm glad you posted, coz it makes it easy to find it now.

Gee Peri, you sound so very down, and I am really sorry to know that.  Sorry to hear also that you dont feel that any medications tried so far are helping.

Of course you want some joy in your life, everyone does.  And you deserve to have some happiness and peace in your life.  How I wish it were possible to visit your son and grandkids in England.  Unfortunately with COVID restrictions, its unlikely to be possible in some time.  

It saddens me that you say you want to die quietly. Its not your time to die yet Peri ... you're a very long way from that.  When the time does come (a long way from now) ... I would wish you a peaceful and quiet end.  As I would wish for anyone at that time.  But Peri, you still have lots of living to do.  And family who love and need you. 

You mentioned that you are not feeling well physically either.  Being a retired nurse, you would be well aware of the importance of regular health checks.  Have you been doing that I wonder?  Sometimes even a minor physical complaint or imbalance (eg deficiency of some sort, and thus easily remedied) can contribute very significantly to our mental health.  So I would urge you to maintain all the recommended physical health checks, even with COVID restrictions being what they are.

I totally agree with you about some self serving politicians in the world, and wish I could put a gag on them sometimes.  Or something even more dramatic!

I hope you will try to take good care of yourself @Peri and pray that you will soon turn the corner and start to feel better.  Spring is here .. so maybe thats a good start for you.  I hope so.

@Eve7 @Shaz51 @Appleblossom @outlander 

Emelia 🌺🐶

[outlander]

@Peri
sending love and hugs. im sorry im short on words but im hearing you

[Eve7]

I am really sorry life is like this for you @Peri  I wish you could see your family in England especially your grandson.

Please try and stay on the forums even if it’s only brief.

You do have support here.

Love ya to the border and back

🧡😊💛

[Appleblossom]

Hello @Peri 

I am also an outlier.  Experiences too extreme for most people to identify with, but I have also had great happiness too, so try and find the even keel.  A struggle, but thats life hey?

I am glad the judge told the mother she had to share decision making.  I wish we were in that position for my grandson.  The mother is limited but her father has connections and totally indulges her and my son has caved in to her, and then made other issues for himself.  Would it have been better if I had sternly told him I would fight for grandma rights, and shifted his attention towards fighting for his son, instead of fighting "the system".  I am deeply sad and weary.  They say as we age we focus on our end and death a little more.  I have often imagined myself dying and dead somewhere away from people.  I try not to be morbid and am very grateful for online connections here and elsewhere, and music, which keeps good energy flowing, even sadness for the right reasons is good energy.

[Eve7]

💚💛💚❤️💚

@Appleblossom 

Good advice my friend as my son has done the same and given up.