want to not exist

[Serenity1]

@CheerBear thanks for your kind comments& understanding -it is not a fun spot to find yourself in-I'm happy you got the help you needed- hopefully the psychologist has some ideas that will help us when I go see her tomorrow.

[Hope4me]

Hey @Serenity1 

You're obviously very upset with me. I might leave things with others.

I'm sorry I interpreted things wrong.

And I do care; maybe just not the way you want.

Kind thoughts;

Hope 

[Serenity1]

If that is what makes you comfortable. It's fine. @Hope4me I was at my most vulnerable ever & could not see a way out -still can't - that is why I wanted to no longer exist- I just needed some gentleness - I felt like u were having a go at me & being very harsh - (you even said something similar yourself)-yes u did upset me - I can also understand how txt can get confused - I don't hold grudges - thankyou for apologising & you said some very helpful & kind things which unfortunately did not sink in because I got upset about a couple of things you said- I will go back & reread them later. Thanks

[CheerBear]

Calling by to wish you the best with your psych appointment today @Serenity1. I really hope they are able to provide you with the support you need. You're doing a great job trying to get some support. It's super hard when that doesn't seem to be working out and you can't see a way out of things though.

Also hope today has something good in it for you @Hope4me. I've noticed the care you have for others and it shines through in your posts.

❤ to you both

[Serenity1]

Thankyou @CheerBear that is very kind-
Now I am too scared to say how I truely feel incase she involuntarily sends me to hospital 😭 I don't know what I am supposed to say to get my point across without being put in hospital 😭

[Serenity1]

Turns out I got confused & don't have the appointment today- it is next week @CheerBear now what do I do??😭😭😭

[CheerBear]

Oh no @Serenity1 🙁 Can you try and get an earlier appointment? Or speak with a GP in the meantime?

[Serenity1]

Thanks @CheerBear I'm on the waitlist for psyc & have a doctors appt. tomorrow - also have an appointment w principal immediately after doctors app. So that will be fun! Not - as Iam usually in tears & totally drained after doctors appointments like that- so principal will think I'm a complete & utter mess( which I am)- but would like to not expose myself like that to him- maybe it's a good thing if the school knows I'm not coping tho?
I am going to tell doctor just how serious it got on weekend & what am I supposed to do if I feel I need to go to hospital with my daughter?- see if she can help with an action plan- I'm not too hopeful tho as they have not been much help in the past -😐

[CheerBear]

Hey @Serenity1. Sounds like a really good plan with the doctor today. Hopefully she can help with that safety plan and with giving you some ideas re your daughter if you need to go to hospital. It can be scary to talk so openly but it's important when we reach the point of not being able to stay safe.

As for meeting the principal - that might be hard just after your appointment. From my experience schools have links with all kinds of support services for families. If you keep your daughter's needs at the centre of the conversation with him, they'll see the caring and concerned mum you are and will hopefully be able to support you both.

Wishing you the best with today. Thinking of you ❤

[soi]

Hello there,

Sorr ti hear that you are feeling like this. Just wanted to reassure you that you are DEFINETELY not the only one.  i am 47 yeaars old, andl hjave been feeling this way since the age of 7.  I know it is a very difficult experience/existence and can totally understand and sympathise with your feelings and struggle.. My diagnonsis is comlex and not worth getting into, suffice to say, regardless as long as you are getting the helop you need that is the FIRST STEP, the second you are already doing. 

I am new tot his forum, this is my first reply and just signed up today. 

Can l recommend that you get involved with NDIS if you haven't already. National Disability Insurance Scheme..... it offers outreach support and other supports tailor made to your experience and nedds. Firstly you need to be diagnosd with a mental illness. chronic unfortunnately.....but it is very helpful. 

I have been having longstanding problems with my mother and have now cometo the point with the assistance and support that NDis OFFERS, WJHERE L CAN NOW STEP BACK AN AWAY FROM THE TOXIC RELATIONSHIP ONCE AND FOR ALL.  iT HAS BEEN LONG TIME COMING AND EVENT HOUGH IT IS A RELIEF IT IS STILL A STRUGGLE ANDOF COURSE THE ONGOING GRIEF L DON'T THINK WILL EVER CEASE, EVEN WQHEN SHE HAS DIES. Sory about that!!!

didnt mean for the capital letters.

How long have you been feeling this way for?