Lived Experience Forum

[Former-Member]

Hello @OstaraAust

My resilience and confidence is in general very low. I stopped working about 6 months ago. Before I stopped work I visited an Ostara office and asked them for help to keep employed. I was told they didn't have enough capacity to deal with people who still have a job - and who are highly qualified. I found this sad. Then I stopped working. Now I can't take the pressure of my job and industry anymore and decided to become self-employed. Finding business is a big struggle and I am increasingly depressed with strong feelings of uselessness and worthlessness. I also keep looking on job pages and either I don't meet he criteria or I'm overqualified. I'm devastated but I don't even feel like ever asking for help again in an employment agency. Is that just a single incident or are people who have higher education and had success before becoming mentally ill not welcome?

[OstaraAust]

Hi @Teej

Thank you so much for joining the chat and what a great question to start off with.

You are in the same boat as I can assume many others on this forum are.

Right at the beginning of your job hunting journey and that's exciting. 

First thing I would start with is changing the way you view what is coming your way.

Instead of preparing for a huge amount of rejection as you put it, what if we tried wording it differently and saying, 

"how can I prepare for the huge amount of interest in my extended gap break bwteeen jobs?

I am almost positive that you have a story in all that time however let's focus on how we can make that work for you.

In my experience working with business owners and employers I have noticed a growing trend on skills based focuses with regards to hiring staff. This means that they are not so much looking for when your last job was and are instead more interested in the skills you have that can be transferred intot the job you are applying for.

So for example let's use the example of the most common reason why some people are out of work for a period of time.. sometimes people take a break due to parenting.

This can range from 12months to 10 years for some.

In that time I quite often get a lot of parents say, "I haven't worked for x amount of years I have no skills or I've losty the skills I had".

I usually say ok let's look at what your job has been and what duties you have from parenting:

* cleaning the house and making it look presentable

* preparing shopping lists, buying food and cooking meals

* playing with children, changing nappies, picking them up from school, taking them to sports or appointments

* discipline

* It's on call work, long hours

What sort of skills would you have just from the tasks listed above:

* cleaning - visual merchandising, maintain cleanliness and sanitation of all work/play areas

*shopping lists etc- planning and preparation, budgeting, marketing based on expenses, accounts receivable, accounts payable, tracking inventory,

creating multiple meals for challenging customers in an evolving environment

preparing bnutritious meals demonstrating through instruction building life skills (following recipes)

* playing w/ children - fostering fun, creative and safe educational environment 

* discipline - advanced training in alternative disoute resolution, excellent communication skills, conflict resolution

* time management

* ability to work unsupervised and make quick, crucial decisions

* not to mention being a domestic engineer (stay at home parent) is volunteer work and volunteer work always looks great on a resume!

Quite often we think there is nothing we are good at yet most parents can do these things without thinking. It is all about perception and how we see our situation so try and think of all the things you have done in that absence from working and I am positive you will find some great skills!

[OstaraAust]

Hi @Kirin, 
Firstly I would like to thank you for your honest feedback and let you know that we definitely appreciate hearing that.

Secondly I am sorry for how your initial experience with the Ostara office made you feel, I can assure you that it certainly is not Ostaras intention nor is it something we would want you or anyone to hear. I won't try and make excuses because that will not help at all however what I will do is attempt to help you with your query.

As I was not present at the time of your initial visit I cannot comment too much on what was said.
I do know that in my experience as the employment facilitator at Ostara I have many seasoned professionals on my books. Well, they were on my books but I helped some of them into employment.

The clients that we have range everyday. they may be factory workers or they may be engineers, software developers and scientists.

Each person is different but we treat them all equally.

Sometimes when someone is highly skilled or educated it may take a little longer to help them find employment only because we need to source the specific area they are in and ensure it is not an area that is going to trigger something in their life and make their job difficult.

I personally love it when I get someone like yourself into my office because then I can test my skills and help guide you into new areas that you can find a job you love.
As I mentioned in an earlier post, quite often the job we have been doing is no longer the job that suits us but the skills we have from that job are transferrable into another industry making a smooth transition from what would ordinarily seem difficult upon first glance.

I totally understand how you feel being told you are overqualified - i is like a double edged sword, however it might also be worth redoing your resume to show skills as opposed to work experience and applying for roles that will utilise your skills in a completely different area.

I do not know where abouts you are based however i am sure if you walked into Ostara again we would definitely be able to help you. It may even be me that you find.

I hope this has helped you a little and perhaps given some food for thought?

[Shaz51]

thank you @OstaraAust for your message , it is very interesting and I think it could be a lo of what Mr shaz is going through

before we had a many hats on and we have cut down over the years because of Mr shaz MI , we are trying to work smarter than work harder

as a Wife , I find it hard where to help him , what to do ect , hope this makes sense @OstaraAust

[OstaraAust]

Hi @Shaz51,
You are most welcome.
As someone who manages anxiety and depression on a daily basis I can understand. I know that in my experience I have had male clients who had expressed that they find it particularly difficult to speak up as there is a part of them that feels like they are the provider in the family and need to be strong all the time.
It sound slike perhaps he may need to speak to someone qualified to help him address anything that is bothering him in particular. In the meantime all you can do is continue to show support for his decisions, perhaps try and make an activity of his skills/ interests and go from there. With MI it is all about trial and error. You try multiple different things until you find the way that works for you.
Keeping the mind busy and a little challenged is a good way to deal with life's little worries. Just always make sure Mr Shaz knows he is in a supportive environment and that is all you can do as a wife. All the best

[OstaraAust]

Has anybody had any interviews and felt they have some great tips to share for how to shake those nerves?

I find being completely prepared and having researched the company and the role I am applying for really helped me as I felt confident in my ability to present myself well.

It also helps to have a lucky item - for me I have a lucky dress I wear that helps me get through and gives me alittle boost of added confidence.

I know football players sometimes have lucky socks they wear to give them confidence.

Does anyone else have any tips they may like to share?

[Shaz51]

Thank you @OstaraAust, @NikNik, @Former-Member, @Teej

very interesting @OstaraAust, thankyou for your time , and we have tried to get some help with centrelink but no help

[Teej]

Thanks Nathalie @OstaraAust

I haven't actually seen it written down as such before (the transferable skills). Yes parenting has taken up much of that time.....and the 22 years is when my fist son was born. Then there was a gap where I studied and then my mental health declined for the past 6 years and I have been unable to finish my study. 

Thank you for your response. I know I'm not at that point yet with my mental health to begin applying but it is planned for the near future. 

[OstaraAust]

Hi Shaz51,
It might be worth speaking to a psychologist if your husband has one. They will be able to help him find the tools to manage and keep the momentum moving forward.

[OstaraAust]

Hi @Teej,
The fact that you are thinking ahead is great and shows you are goal oriented and driven (skills for your resume). Studying would have also given you skills.
I often advise my students to look at the unit guides and course outlines of the subjects the have completed as quite often the subjects will have a list of key learning summaries you will have got form completing that subject. These are skills you can apply to your resume and also from studying you would have had deadlines to meet as well which is also a skill.
I have faith you will get there when you are ready and you will know the skills you have. Keep an eye out for them as they are things you may use everyday and not realise because you have been using them for sop long. I hope this has been helpful for you.