Constant flashbacks

[tyme]

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@creative_writer wrote:
@tyme it is a lot, just taking it one step at a time. I haven’t been volunteering recently, they’ve been checking on me to see when I am thinking of going back. I haven’t taken shifts since the beginning of the year. I haven’t responded yet, I’ve been busy with uni but I’ve also had a spike in suicidal thoughts (I’m safe) recently and I don’t think it’s healthy for me to take shifts just yet.

How has your day been?

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If you don't take shifts for a while, do you have to redo the training?

I'm a bit headachy today, but not too bad.

What did you get up to today?

What is one thing you are grateful for today? @creative_writer 

[creative_writer]

@tyme if I go back in a month ish, I probably will need to do a placement shift. It’s only when you hit 6 months where you have to do more training. I’ve emailed them, might be helpful to get some support around now my shifts can fit in with my life.

It’s been super hectic recently, I had palpitations last night again, and I’m also feeling headachy too. But I still managed a bit of uni work earlier today. I think I’m going to change my bed sheets, I’m thankful I have a clean set of bedsheets. I forgot to change the yesterday. Does that count towards one thing I’m grateful for lol🤣?

I hope your headache clear up. I don’t think I’ve emotionally normalised yet, but hopefully I won’t get any worse

[tyme]

Makes sense that you need to sort of retrain after 6 months. What does a 'placement' shift mean? You sit with someone else? @creative_writer 

I hope you feel better soon too.

And yes! Clean cool bedsheets are DA BEST!!!

[creative_writer]

@tyme it means I need to be on shift in a in shift supervisor. Being able to complete shifts is a skill, they want to make sure you’re up to scratch.

I haven’t had any palpitations so far, I’m taking that as a good sign. But I am really anxious, stuck in flight and fight mode 😬. I’m taking it that I’m in orange zone right now. As long as the nervous energy doesn’t hit full speed, I should be okay. I don’t have SI right now 😮‍💨.

I love bamboo cotton sateen sheets. Do you have favourite sheets? Maybe I’m just weird. Have you been up to much today?

[AuntGlow]

hahah yes, I do. @creative_writer 😂

I am glad that the content hasn't been too triggering lately. I am sensing that sharing this with someone you trust and working out a way to navigate the content in a trauma-informed way would be really helpful. It's important that the school also learns how to teach this content safely too! But of course, this is up to you and what feels right for you. 🥰

It's great to know you have been reaching out and staying connected. I understand how hard verbal conversations can be. Do you ever webchat in these moments? 

Also, how was your weekend? ✨

[creative_writer]

@AuntGlow I spent money on my sheets because they feel so lux, and bamboo sheets are better for dust mite allergies.

I tend to use webchats when reaching out for support because talking can feel hard. I tried to reach out today but didn’t feel like it did much so left. I’m having palpitations today, my breathing feels too fast. I’m feeling quite sick now too.

I focused my attention on uni stuff, got some workouts in between, and didn’t really get up to much else. Did you get up to much?

[creative_writer]

I think I’m in a mixed episode, my head feels super heavy and things are hurting. I’m trying to hold on. Trauma memories feel painful, and I feel on edge

[Jynx]

Hey @creative_writer mixed  episodes can definitely be really scary. 

Would now be a good time to be reaching out, like we've been chatting about? 

[creative_writer]

@Jynx I reached out for support and was on chat for quite a while. I’ve taken PRN because I know I could end up where I was a few days ago. My SI were entering the more active territory a few days back, I got them under control, and I’m hoping on keeping it under control. I see my psychiatrist at the end of next week, I’ll see how I feel tomorrow, I can always reach out earlier if needed. I have my psych appointment this Wednesday. I’m hoping I start feeling less jittery soon, I can feel my heart racing and feel breathless. I’m trying to breathe

[Jynx]

@creative_writer glad you've been reaching out and have some support coming up. Do you think you will mention that you feel you're experiencing a mixed episode?