Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Amy1972]

I joined sane today after stumbling across this via a recommendation on another support group I am part of for myself. 

My adult son was diagnosed with Bipolar 1 about 3 months ago. He is very challenging to live with at times & I struggle knowing how best to navigate our relationship. I am his Mum. Looking to see if anyone else out there in same shoes as me so I can learn & also not feel so alone. 

Thanks for listening

[tyme]

Hey there @Amy1972 ,

Welcome to the forums. We are glad to have you with us. 

I hear that you are reaching out for ways to better navigate your relationship with your son. Do you think the issues are to do with his mental health, or moreso personality? 

Is it the manic-depressive episodes that are difficult?

I hope you find the support you deserve on the forums.

Does he have any friends or support networks beside you? Also, do you have supports for yourself as a carer?

You are not alone. There are certainly others going through something similar.

Tagging other members @Shaz51 @Eve7 @Oaktree @Snowie @Anastasia @PinkFlamingo @Tilz @ENKELI @MermaidHair @Blackbird11 

[Blackbird11]

Hello @Amy1972 

Welcome to the forums. SANE have excellent resources here is a link to one that might interest you...

https://www.sane.org/information-and-resources/facts-and-guides/bipolar-disorder

We are here in this together, stay strong 💞

Thanks for the tag @tyme 

[PinkFlamingo]

Hey there @Amy1972 🙂🌺

Welcome to the SANE Forums 

Im PinkFlamingo, a Peer Guide volunteer 😊

Im really sorry to read about the difficulties you have been going through, and kindly extend an ear to listen if you'd like that. I dont have the same experiences that youve described, however I would be more than happy to hold space for you, and listen 💜

[Shaz51]

Hello @Amy1972 

Letting you know that you are not alone my friend 

Like @tyme said , which part would you like advice about 

Being a carer like me is Coping Toolbox ( what is in yours to help you cope ) 

Most important person is to look after yourself to look after other xxx 

Any questions please ask 

[ENKELI]

Welcome @Amy1972 feel free to stop by any time.

Not sure where you are, I'm in Perth so am usually around later due to the time difference between  WA and the east coast.

Happy to have you aboard the good ship Sane 🤩

[Oaktree]

Hi @Amy1972 

Welcome to the forums. I have bipolar myself and I agree it is difficult to navigate. My husband has put up with some very difficult behaviour from me. I would encourage you not to take anything your son does or says personally whilst he is unwell. It’s almost as if we turn into someone else entirely when we are sick. It’s really hard to explain. It’s like my perception of the world is tipped on its head and things make perfect sense to me but are bizarre to everyone else.

[Amy1972]

Thanks for the reply. 

It is not personality, when he is in a good frame of mind he is pleasant to be around, interesting conversation, engaging & 'normal'. He does have friends, so a well rounded social life (guess I should be thankful for that). He cycles through low to normal to high moods very rapidly. Sleeps alot & sometimes will miss school / work I assume due to not being able to cope. He gets angry with me often as I am

prompting him to get up to get to uni or work & he hates me asking him 'how he is'. It was his birthday on the weekend & he went out with friends, a late night for him & it destroyed his week. Drugs (?) & alcohol do not support him. Thanks for listening. 

He is good atm, full functioning, eating normally, exercising, doing uni work & he worked yesterday. I just hope it stays this way for some time for him. 

[Shaz51]

Hearing you @Amy1972 , every day is soo different,  like here with my husband,  ups and downs every day 

I am still learning,  I have closed my mouth so often , thinking when and where to say something 

We  are here for you xxx

[tyme]

Thanks for responding @Amy1972 .

Do you think he is aware there's anything 'wrong'? Does medication help with the episodes and cycles?

I hope you get the support you need. I hear how exhausting it can be, always tiptoeing on eggshells in a way. 

It may also be important to have a chat to him (when he's well) about some boundaries you want to put in place so as to protect you and him. 

For me, with my own MH, people had to set very firm boundaries so that they would be protected during my episodes. It hurt at the time (emotionally), but it was needed.

Please look after yourself.