@Shaz51 wrote:
to try not to say anything because if i do say something he won`t help me again
so I say thankyou for helping me ,
Yer this is how I wish it was. Id rather she not notice than be cracking the shits over it.
I get told off if I help, then if Ive had enough and dont help, i get called lazy and told i never help. I can usually explain why and she would apologise, but the very next time I do something its wrong again.
When I try to help, I get told to go away. Soon as I leave the room , im called back to help. This particular behaviour I find hard to deal with and is about the only thing I get fired up over. For example, Ill see her unloading the washing machine and ask if she wants help hanging it. She will of course say no. So I leave the room. She will go outside and within 2mins be calling me in a tone that I know means im in for some shit.
So id go out and very nicely ask if shes ok and does she need help. Ill get an aggressive "YES! HOLD THIS" in response. So I hold it, I grab it exactly where she was holding it and I dont even move. She will scream "I SAID HOLD IT" and ill calmly say "i am baby". She somehow disagrees with the fact im holding something, yet im clearly standing there holding it. Then ill cop something like "YOUR F$#$@NG USLESS. YOU CANMT EVEN HOLD A F@#$%IN SHEET STRAIGHT".
Now up to this point, ive been calm and submissive, but I start to get pissed off, so my voice starts to sound more aggressive and nasty when I reply with "I am baby". Im still trying to hold my tounge but she can hear in my voice im getting psised off. So she will start with other unrelated crap. Anything from some sock she found earlier in the day to the toilet seat being left up a week ago. At this point shes uncontrollable, she just rants and rants about insignificant crap. You walk away, she will follow, you try leave, she screams out the front of the house, stands behind the car or starts making out that im beating her up hoping to attract attention. This shit continues untill she eventually does attack me and when I restrain her she bursts in to tears and crys for a min. Then its over. Finally. This will go on for anywhere from 40 mins to several hours, but it always ends the same. She attacks and I pretty much have to stop her till shes so drained she breaks down in tears 😞
In the mean time the neighbours (who are watching all this out their windows) come out and ask if everything is ok and ask if they should call the police. I ofcourse tell them its ok, no need, shes just having an episode and ill deal with it.
Looking back now, it was not a good way to live. I care for that girl like crazy but the shit she put me through because of her illness I should never have put up with. I always thought I was helping, and that most other people would have just left or given her a beating long ago. I thought that I was a better person for helping her and putting up with it, but i think now i was just a sucker. Too blinded by love to see the fact I was a victim of domestic abuse. 3
Wow I guess I got a little carried away with that reply. Sorry about that.
IMO when the other 1/2 does something to help. Even if he does a shit job, try making a big deal about it (in a positive way) to make him feel good about doing it in the future. All i ever wanted was some thanks, perhaps he is the same.
