I'm not having a very good day today and am feeling sad and alone with it. I have two that have come down with some kind of nasty bug which has completely wiped them out with fevers. Both slept in with me last night until one woke throwing up (all over the bed). I spent the rest of the night up with them in the lounge room, us sleeping on and off. Both have spent the day in bed and on the lounge, one half asleep and one who has barely woken up.
I'm tired and was probably run down before now so I have had no energy to do the things I have needed today. I've pushed myself to do the washing from the sick bugs and have been trying to motivate myself to make dinner for the last couple of hours but can't get there yet.
Middle had their cast off last week and the next day was complaining it was very sore. They had x-rays done, a brace put on, and the report came through this afternoon (thankfully the Dr was happy to speak over the phone as I couldn't get them to the appointment today). The break hasn't healed or united and they now have to see a surgeon in a few days 🙁 I feel sad and worried about that.
These are some of the times that single parenting really gets to me. I feel a very big weight on tired shoulders and a huge sense of pressure juggling lots of needs.
Last night I had bad dreams about their dad. I dreamt he had a new family and was a completely different person. Kind, caring, fun, gentle and loving. I have no idea where that came from but it sucked to wake up to.
I wish there was another person here to take over sometimes or share the load with. Days like today can be a sinking sadness trap for me that I don't want to fall into.
I'm feeling very blue today about a lot of stuff 🙁
