Fragile

[AlwaysMyself]

@Appleblossom sorry I haven’t had a chance to read any posts, but I still wanted to just post to say “thinking of you” and “I care” even though I’ve been absent and unavailable. You are not forgotten.

[Appleblossom]

@AuntGlow Very good to hear from you. Thanks for checking in on me. I do feel seen

I have not had the option of not persevering when in pain, as I have had chronic neck issues for decades. It is just what I have to keep doing, whilst partly disabled.

My son did his best for me for mothers day. I cant and dont expect more.

He tries to reassure me a lot, but I would be more reassurred if my son's actual circumstances were better

.

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[Appleblossom]

@AlwaysMyself  Thank you. It matters and helps me feel appreciated as a person. I can be very vulnerable.

It can be a lot keeping up to date, and reading and responding to all the different notifications.

We had a beautiful mist this morning. It felt peaceful more than cold.... silly me lol

[AuntGlow]

Anytime @Appleblossom 💛

Oh wow, that is so much for your body to go through... how do you manage and navigate life with pain?

I am happy to hear your son did his best on Mothers Day, but I completely hear you. Of course you want him to be okay. 

Here if you need to talk. 

PS: I hope you're playing music this week! 

[Appleblossom]

Thank you @AuntGlow 

I played for my little singing group this afternoon.  There were only 4 of us. I have to face that we will probably finish at the end of this term.  We are enjoying it still, but the group has shrunk, and I need to think about what else I am called to do. A few of us met 3 years ago doing an inclusive Peace choir, doing We are Australian in 5 different languages.  Now it is just a singalong. Doing it has sustained me through massive ups & downs with my sons hospitalisations. I am feeling less isolated and more accepted as a human, but maybe not the greatest singing leader.  There is warmth and kindness for my fragility, especially, my hip.  My limp is visible.  I am vulnerable but need to accept life is changing.

Maybe the shift is that I dont have to be in leadership and responsible, and that I can do more of what I want. It is really weird for me. Just keeping on.

Had a couple good talks with some nephews, which is amazing. We are arranging a gathering of 5 from their generation.  Given the tragedies and family fragmentation, it is good and maybe healing for the younger generation. My son is the connector. They are coming to my arts MH activism event. 3 are not in Melbourne, so it is a big deal for us all.

@ENKELI @Dimity @Chasingsunsets @AlwaysMyself @Shaz51 

[Dimity]

❤️🎵🎵 as we slow down towards evening we can appreciate the afternoon light @Appleblossom . Hope your hip and neck pain is well managed.

Perhaps you can enjoy musicmaking for its own sake not as work. 

Solidarity between your son and his cousins will stand them in good stead.

[Appleblossom]

Thanks. Hugs Bella @Dimity Yes slowing down.

The coming together of the cousins feels a deep rightness about it.  They are all different but we all need our tribe.

[Dimity]

It strikes me there's also a deep rightness to your acting as elder to the lads @Appleblossom 

[AlwaysMyself]

@Appleblossom sounds like the group has been such a helpful and healing process, and such a cherished time you will have memories and benefits from. 😍. I wonder (and look forward to hearing hopefully) what this next chapter will hold for you - as you note, perhaps the freedom to take a step back from the leadership/responsibility/burdens and be the one to 'simply' engage and enjoy whilst allowing someone else the opportunity to stretch their wings in leadership.

I know that whether you are leader, a supportive-mentor, or 'simply' a consumer in your future activities - I do strongly believe people will naturally benefit from your presence either way, because of your spirit/heart. 😍🤗. And I hope so much that whatever you find to fill the time will fill your cup in how you need it to at that point in time (and over time adapt to what your needs are at that time too). 🤗.  This is my hope for you.