Introduction / Bipolar

[Kain]

Hi all
I have recently neem diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I have mostly the depressive stage but have had several short manic episodes in the past 18 months which hahas damaged my marriage and my lovely wife's mental state along with my 2 amazing kids.
They were as ambushed by thos as much as I was. Our relationship is on the rocks over my promiscuity on line during my mamic episodes and I am hoping to learn from others how to develope some tools to deal with this disease and its symptoms from others who suffer bipolar disorder.
This is my first post. I hope it finds you all well

[Mazarita]

Welcome @Kain and thanks for posting. I've been on this site for about 6 weeks. I too have been diagnosed bipolar and relate to making a mess of things with promiscuity when in a manic or hypomanic state. This hasn't been a problem with my current partner of 12 years. but depression and mood instability in other ways has been. Mainly just saying hi back to you and best wishes in your journey.

[NikNik]

I second that welcome - Hi @Kain

Great to have you around. @Mazarita - has it only been six weeks? It seems like longer (that's a good thing 🙂 ) Mazarita, do you have any tips for Kain on any discussions you have found helpful or enjoy being part of, just to help him start the journey in this community?

[Kain]

Thanks heaps guys. Apologies for my terrible typing lol.
I dont mean to sound harsh and I would never wish this affli tion on anyone but it is such a releif to know that others have had the problems that I am having and that there is hope.
Thanks for your acceptance. Its been hard road not knowing what was wrong for so many years until very recently

[Mazarita]

If you do a search of the forums on 'bipolar', a lot of entries come up. I've been interested to read about others experiences and this has reduced my sense of isolation. There are lots of ideas in these discussion threads and it's also a way to start becoming familiar with the other members on the site.

The forums have also helped me find motivation to do some important things I'd been putting off in my depression. This was with encouragement from other members and moderators.

I enjoy the 'Topic Tuesdays', these are worth watching out for. They are like workshops where members and moderators are online participating at the same time. It's fine to be quiet or to add comments. The last one which happened about a week ago felt therapeutic. Thanks for running it, @NikNik. 🙂

[PeppiPatty]

hello how are you? 

Um, ì'm one of those readers who reads experienses of people who suffer times of ill health via bipolar as my oldest son is dealing with .......

Actually, he spoke to me a couple of nights ago and he said how he's doing......he said he's replacing  time by doing things....i said, oh thats what i suggested and he said oh, yeah it is..... ( was he just trying to make me feel nice ? ) 

[Kain]

Not really advice anyone can give here not knowing either of you really. He might be actually doing what it seems or not. Talk to him, probably the best thing to xo is keep the line of communication open.

[Samara]

Hello and welcome to the Forum.  I am pretty new myself.  

[Kain]

Thanks Samara and everyone.
I have a question, possibly one that should be directed at my psyche but I dont see him until Monday and it is a burning one. I am interested in this board's reponses from different perspectives and experiences. But first I will give a little insight on myself so that you can better attempt my question (at the end)
I am 42 with 2 teenage kids. I met my wife when I was 20. We have been together since and she was so happy. She was always supportive in the hard times and so awesome at everything. Great to talk to, non-judgemental, beautiful physically and emotionally.
Just after our son was born (2nd child) I had an online affair with a woman. I lied and cheated emotionally on my lovely wife and it was the beginning of the end. That was almost 15 years ago and, until recently I didnt understand why I even took that path. I ask myself was I happy and the answer was always yes.. These are answers that I could never give my wife which further damaged us through the inability to resolve the issue and leaving her insecure and afraid it would happen again.
Last year after a very stressful time, we began to fight. Both of us got physical at times (both ex martial artists - she hits like a man lol) but to my shame I hit as well and then my past came back on me. I did it again. I hooked up on line with multiple women and even orgnised a meet which I never went through with.
Since then we have been constanly arguing on the merry-go-round of nonanswers or resolution and is the reason I decided to seek help. Bipolar was the answer I got from the professionals. Dissaccoative Dissorder may also be a possibility on top but has not yet been determined.
My question:
When in a manic cycle do we do this?
They are allnthings that normally I find to be abhorrent behaviour toward anyone, especially thkse you hold dear. Why does it happen this way?
Thanks in advance for any responses

[PeppiPatty]

dear @Kain

Why dont you 

Just do things 

That make you happy. Whether it be 

Jogging

Eating lollies

Icecream or chocolate

Reading books 

And your wife does too.

Stay connected in the community 

Be creative, be positive.

On Ted Talk, a wonderful talk called : 

Everything you think you know about addiction is wrong, by Johann Hari 

I urge you to check out. 

It feels to me you are

More mindful than you think

Kinder than you think you are

Generous than you think you are

I am sitting with my ex husband diagnosed with chronic paranoid schizophrenia at 19. We broke up 2 years  ago. He went away and quit using drugs and alcohol. 

 He learnt more how to manage his daily wellbeing by visiting his GP. 

He did all this off his own back. 

:0)