Forums Home

Lived Experience Forum

Acceptance, connection, support. Share the journey.

Safe, anonymous discussion for people living with mental illness, moderated 24/7 by mental health professionals.

Read the community guidelines
cancel
Showing results forΒ 
Search instead forΒ 
Did you mean:Β 

Our stories

Re: Taking the plunge

So much appreciate you kindness @Sherry . Sending best thoughts to you and your family. πŸ’œπŸ’•πŸ’œπŸ’•πŸ’œπŸ’•πŸ’•πŸŒ»

Re: Taking the plunge

@CheerBear  Thinking of you. 7C94CC61-B105-4FCB-B0F4-5FBA10E52AC6.jpeg

Highlighted

Re: Taking the plunge

Still no plumber @Maggie. I'm scary angry today πŸ™ Psych said break place point now if there was someone to have the crew but there's not and he knows that. I appreciate that he works with what I've got not what would be good to have knowing my hands are tied a bit. We made a plan including sparkly shoes (he said that was a must - I agree πŸ˜‰) and time out near water during the day after the house inspection. Something to look forward to and some down time.

I'm taking it all out on the garden. The grass was so tall with clover in the backyard that I had to whipper snip it all before I mowed which I enjoyed doing. Next up is the huge once-vegetable-garden-now-nettle-pit. I'm going to chop it all down probably with the whipper snipper. Then I can go through the garage and pile up stuff/break it into smaller bits for a hard rubbish collection. It's constructive destruction I guess and probably a great way of letting off steam (lava in my case today). No shower for after though of course and I'm covered in dirt and grass. I'm so hugely full of grrr about so many things right now.

Venting. Thank you for your thoughts. Have you seen counsellor yet? Thinking of you too ❀

@Sherry thanks for your message earlier also. I hope things are going okay enough where you are, though I get it's likely to be really hard. I'll wander around later and see if you've posted ❀

Back to the garden for me.

Re: Taking the plunge

@CheerBear  Your psych sounds like someone very supportive and understanding. Yey for some good professionals out there. I so know that scary angry, we shouldn’t be pushed that far. But , them that has the gold makes the rules. 😑😑😑

 

Garden is a good outlet for angry, if you have the energy. By now it should all be ground level. You on the other hand need the soothing flow of a shower, which you don’t have. So not good enough. Do you have a friend who might let you use the shower? If you’re like me though, you won’t ask, you’ll put up with it. I’m guessing that’s the case.

 

I had a huge smile with sparkly boots being a must. Some things are a need @CheerBear  not a want. 😁😁😁😁 I’ve always loved water. Something cleansing and refreshing. I read a book about its healing powers recently.

 

Yes, I saw my counsellor this morning. She straightened out some of my wonky thinking. Drs don’t have a say in the categories at the hospital, it’s the specialist who does that. So my Dr is off the hook. Still no closer to any help, but we will both keep gently pushing ahead. Like you, she sees I’m at breaking point, but there is no help there for me either. I don’t have family I can go to, nor friends. With both, I end up being the support person. I really don’t want hospital.

 

However, after another car breakdown and RACT start, my kind of friend and I charged the battery with a drive to the country. We stopped by the river, so absolutely breathtaking. Mountains in the distance. Just for a special treat, we saw ducks with two ducklings, a few roosters, of all things, and chickens. They must live near by, then go home to roost.

Home now, heat pack for aching bones, ready to watch better homes and gardens later tonight.

I hope there is some good somewhere in your evening, after quite a day of it all.

Take care @CheerBear  lots of these. πŸ’œπŸ’œπŸ’•πŸ’•πŸ’•πŸ’•πŸ’•πŸ’œπŸ’œβ˜•οΈβ˜•οΈβ˜•οΈβ˜•οΈβ˜•οΈβ˜•οΈπŸ™ƒ

 

Re: Taking the plunge

@Sherry  I was literally walking, ( was about to say running 😩😩😩 ) out the door when I left my short reply to you.

I’m wondering how things are going for you and hubby, and BIL. I’ve no doubt you are stressed and tired after the trip and time change. Change can be stressful. I imagine time will be spent at the hospital and emotions will be running on high. Sending lots of thoughts your way @Sherry  hoping there will be a break somewhere for you. Take care where you can. πŸ’•πŸ’œπŸ’•πŸ’œπŸ’•πŸ’œπŸ’•β˜•οΈβ˜•οΈβ˜•οΈβ˜•οΈ

Re: Taking the plunge

I loved hearing about your country drive @Maggie. It felt so nice to imagine. Sorry about the aching bones and the breaking point with little more you can do about that. It's a really hard place to be πŸ™

I am worried I've been pushed too far with this one. This afternoon I was told the hot water wouldn't be fixed until Monday. I cracked it after I felt like I'd cracked over it. It felt like a total thumping. I picked myself up a bit and sucked it up, packing up to drive to well and unwell people's house for the night so we could shower which is way more than I wanted to be doing tonight. Just before we left I took another call from the owner to say it wouldn't be fixed until Wednesday now. He told me all about how hard it was for him. He had to "make phone calls and things" apparently. I wanted to do very bad things to him when he started the poor me on me. I froze because fire was about to come out of my mouth and that felt dangerous with the power he has in this situation πŸ™

I'm really struggling tonight. I haven't felt this close to done for a long time. It's just a few days away but honestly it's a straw and camel thing. I'm sad and I'm angry and I'm over it all. I'm so agitated it feels like I could explode. It feels like a silly thing to be tipped over by but maybe sometimes it is that one too many things. Or maybe it's just a really bad day.

I know there's nothing you or anyone can say and as I wrap this post up I'm feeling reluctant to push post on it for that reason. It's venting and an outlet and I think I needed that somewhere πŸ™

Re: Taking the plunge

Very much hearing your frustration and anger at the hot water situation @CheerBear It is no small thing and the owner is making it even harder. He has an obligation to fix it as soon as is possible - do not take on his dramas because quite frankly they do not matter to you. Do you have a tenancy agreement? I don't know exactly what it looks like in your state but here there is provision for the renter to access emergency tradesmen for essentials like the hot water system. If you have one maybe give it a read over and see what you can do yourself. 

 

I also very much hear you how close to the edge you are feeling. Having so much happen over so much time for you takes its toll Hon - and something like the hot water not being able to be used can be that breaking point. We require those things to go right in our lives in order to deal with the bigger things but when they are not working it feels impossible to pull ourselves back up.

 

I know you talked earlier about the break place but feel you cannot do thst right now with all that is happening ...but right now with the hot water not working would it be possible for you to have a couple of days to yourself with the kids staying at well and unwell's place for the weekend? Just a thought to maybe reset a little and do some things you want to do for yourself.

 

Here and listening if you need CB Heart

Re: Taking the plunge

That's exactly what it feels like @Zoe7 - something I rely on to be right and now it's not right so on top of the rest, it's all feeling wrong.

I know we have 24 hours to have it fixed as it's an essential service but having rights and exercising them without consequences are different things which I have learned from experience. It's a stuck situation big time.

I'm super tired and I don't think that's helping me tonight. Two have a party tomorrow night and they'll be really upset if they miss out so we have to go home tomorrow, plus there's a half done garden I need to see to.

I don't know what to say πŸ™ Thank you for listening though.

Re: Taking the plunge

You are doing well for not knowing what to say @CheerBear It is super difficult when you need an essential service but the fear that the landlord will not come to the party and cause more problems. Sometimes having rights does not equate to actual action and to solve that is even more stressful than just waiting ...so hear you on all that Hon. 

 

I do hear you about the teo with the party and not wanting them to miss out. Can you take the time with the LF left to do something fun for both of you ...or alternatively set them up with something they can do on their own to give yourself a couple of hours break. You are really sounding like you need sleep and some peace Hon.

 

I know there are no easy solutions right now but use whatever supports you can CB and don't stress too much about the garden if you are not up to it - it will still be there next week.

 

Lots and lots of these Heart and plenty of these πŸ’ for you @CheerBear .

Re: Taking the plunge

We have a house inspection next week @Zoe7 and my week is busy so it needs to get done. It's part of why this has pushed me where it has in the way it has I think.

I do need sleep and peace. I packed an off switch in prn form and will use that tonight. It's another helpful thing about being here so I've got that at least. I'm hoping it will all feel a bit more doable tomorrow.

Thanks for being here and listening to me ❀. I'm going to try and enjoy a shower I think.

For urgent assistance, call: