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15-01-2019 08:30 PM
15-01-2019 08:30 PM
Re: not feeling good
Hi @BlueBay
It's great to have my new computer though it's and interesting exercise learning to type with the smaller keyboard.
I read all that was happening with your daughter - she will be better off without that immature guy - and she will be entitled to the Single Supporting Parent Benefit too and that will make a difference
Blending two families together will be different but yes - it's important to start with some ground rules about meal-times and who does what and set up some rosters - it will be a bit stretchy for everyone and you do need your own time too - everyone does - a house with 5 adults and an toddler will be an interesting exercise -
But if course you take your daughter and grand-daughter in - that childish boy could have had a close family if he had chosen to - he could have had all of you on his side but no - being out with his mates was more important to him - what a waste!!
I am so glad I can respond at last - sending hugs
Dec
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15-01-2019 08:48 PM
15-01-2019 08:48 PM
Re: not feeling good
Thanks for the hugs @Owlunar same back to you.
I spoke to my daughter about cooking and she said she’ll cook as well. Also washing clothes - if I do dont it before work she will do it.
Ive told my older son this afternoon. He’s away from home training. He said that her partner is an idiot (he also said another word!!!)
and my other son already knows and he’s supportive too.
Little Ayla is sleeping in her cot in our room. My daughter will sleep on a blow up mattress in the front lounge room. Toys are in the study. She is going to sell her bsby furniture. And there clothes are in bags but on the weekend she snd my hubby will go and get the chest if drawers.
Once we all get into some sort of a routine we will be ok.
I couldn’t believe how lazy he was. She had to do everything. And I mean everything. More and more stories coming out every day. I listen and let her vent out.
Hope you’re well @Owlunar
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16-01-2019 12:18 AM
16-01-2019 12:18 AM
Re: not feeling good
I am okay @BlueBay - I have just had the anniversaries of both my parents passing - Mum nearly made it up to Dad's 4th anniversary - I am over it now but I still have my moments
What a foolish boy your daughter's partner is - your daughter is better off without him but still it is sad that Ayla may grow up not knowing her father - it's a mixed blessing and your daughter may have some bad moments but letting her tell her stories and just listening gives you insight and helps her get over it -
You have done a great job bringing your kids up - how the boys are moving over to make room for their sister is really something - and of course - you want better for your daughter - she deserves better - and time alone can tell. I think she gave a lot of herself for her relationship and it will hurt for a while
I wish your family the best though - it will work out - just not in the way that anyone planned
Dec
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16-01-2019 09:22 PM
16-01-2019 09:22 PM
Re: not feeling good
Thankyou so much @Owlunar
you know I wasn’t really shocked. I was sort of waiting for the day she would leave. She was spending a lot of the weekends st our home.
My blood pressure has gone up again. I have to call my doctor tomorrow. Tiday it was 165/110. I checked it three times eith very similar readings.
Also in psin. I have done some tendon damage to my shoulder which the psin is going ddown my back and up into my head. Seen Chiro twice this week. Another appt Friday if I need it.
It is nice having my D snd Ayla here. This morning she woke up at 6.30 and stood up in her cot. She was trying to talk to me to wake me up. She came in my bed snd we had nice cuddles together. Really special and sweet. Then I brought her to my D. We ended up going fir a walk at 7.30 eith Ayla in her pram holding her bunny and blanket.
And tonight Ayla went to bed at 6pm. She was very tired. It was good because while hubby was home my D dnd I went fir another walk.
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17-01-2019 09:08 AM
17-01-2019 09:08 AM
Re: not feeling good
Hi @BlueBay
I seem to recollect that D's ex was a bit of a hard case before Alya started - and that has to be - ah - over two years ago now - and he made her leave a few months ago and now it's over and I think this is probably for the best while Ayla is too young to really know that much about it - but still - what a pity that when your family has been supportive to him he still wants to play games rather than grow up and realise the joys of family life for himself - his choice - silly boy
And your daughter seems like a strong woman and good mother too - you did well with your kids and it is not over yet as you fear at times - being a good grand-mother is worth a lot too
Your blood pressure needs watching - do you have your own machine? I do and I notice that if my BP goes up because I have been busy it goes down when I sit down for a while - maybe your work will let you hire one if that would help - I think it would. The medication can make it harder to deal with the hot weather too - so yes - you have a good medical team there and you can keep in touch with them so that's a plus
It sounds as if you have torn one or two tendons in your shoulder - that can be incredibly painful - excrutiating actually - and heat and cold pacts alternating can help but maybe you need an ultrasound if it continues
You have a lot on your plate right now and it will have an upside - sometimes you feel as if no one needs you anymore and now you can see that's not true - your kids will need you and Ayla needs you and whether he knows it or not Huffnpuff needs you
Sending you my best wishes
Dec
Sending them to your Daughter too
pro
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17-01-2019 03:17 PM
17-01-2019 03:17 PM
Re: not feeling good
Thankyou @Owlunar
I’m exhausted. So tired I could fall to sleep. Ayla finally fell asleep and my D and I are resting. We went to my parents house this morning. And they were happy to see Ayla which was nice.
I need to keep an eye on my blood pressure. Yeah I think the heat might increase it. It’s so humid today.
Im a bit emotional tiday. Maybe it’s just the changes at home.
Hi @Former-Member@Shaz51@Zoe7@Razzle @Faith-and-Hope
hope all well. Xxxxx
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17-01-2019 06:26 PM
17-01-2019 06:26 PM
Re: not feeling good
Hi @BlueBay
It's perfectly normal to feel emotional when changes take place - you do feel things deeply - and this is you and okay as uncomfortable as it is - you take a little longer than most people to sort yourself out when there are changes and so do I actually
It might vary from person to person and I am certain that everyone is different - and some people thrive on change
And you care about your daughter and what she is going through too - that is natural - and there will be a few stretching and growing pains as things settle - if you expect this it will be easier to accept
Just keep telling us about it - this is something like keeping a journal - it will help you to deal with what happens with more people living in the house than a week ago
And the weather is horrible - it is hard to feel comfortable when it is so humid
Take things easy yourself - that's what I am doing right now
Dec
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17-01-2019 07:25 PM
17-01-2019 07:25 PM
Re: not feeling good
ohhhhh my sister @BlueBay giving you tender hugs and sitting with you xoxoxo
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18-01-2019 05:25 PM
18-01-2019 05:25 PM
Re: not feeling good
Thankyou @Shaz51
hi @Owlunar@Former-Member@Zoe7@Faith-and-Hope
im feeling a bit sorry for myself. It’s selfish I know but I feel down and tired.
Ayla wakes up about 6.30am. My daughter and I have breakfast and she feeds Ayla. We then go for a 1/2 hr walk. At night when Ayla is asleep my D and I go again while hubby stays home.
My mood is low even though I’m walking.
Saw my Chiro tidsy. He checks my BP also and today it was 165/110. He wasn’t happy with it. He tried some cranial pressure to reduce my blood pressure. He then checked my BP agsin and it stayed the same.
My shoulder and neck needed treatment as well.
Hope everyone is doing ok. Xxxxoooo
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18-01-2019 05:58 PM
18-01-2019 05:58 PM
Re: not feeling good
Hi @BlueBay.
No ... it isnt selfish .. not at all. Its an understandable reaction to all thats suddenly transpired in your household. Early starts due to little Ayla waking early is enough to make you tired. And your continuing blood pressure issues will also contribute to your weariness. The twice daily walks are definitely a good thing though, so I hope you are able to keep up with those. It sounds like your D also enjoys those walks, so its fantastic that you can go together as you are. I feel sure your mood will gradually improve over time. Certainly you are doing everything right, its just that it may take a little time for the benefits of the walking to filter through.
Sorry to hear the BP has continued to be high. You have been highly stressed with all the recent changes at home, so I guess that is contributing to the issue. Hopefully as things settle down a bit, the BP will too. Your BP meds were changed recently werent they? I guess that also takes a while to become fully effective.
It sounds as though your chiro covers a wide range of problems, and I hope the combo of treatments today have a positive effect soon. And yeah, I'm okay thanks ... least ways as okay as possible right now.
Sherry 🌺