Lived Experience Forum

[oceangirl]

Thank you @Meowmy  

[Doglover]

Hi @oceangirl ,

Our baby is happiest when she is chasing the ball, or at the beach or the farm. I feel so bad that her life has been so badly affected my my MI. Poor thing,\. Still, I guess shes got it better than a lot of other dogs. 

I'l try to keep positive thgouhts re hospital oceangirl, thank you. I just wish i could get it over and done with. I can't remember if I have said this to you or not but I hae been waiting for my health nsurance to kick in, which is Monday. Pdoc did referral on Wednesday and now I find out that its a 3-4 week waiting list for a bed at the hospital he has referred me to. The psych reckoned a 7-10 day wait but the hospital said 3-4 weeks. While I am not at all keen to go into hospital, in fact I'm petrified, every day s torture for me so it's just another 3-4 weeks of torture before going in for more torture. I have to come off short term anti anxiety meds that I have been on long term but they have not founf any long term anxiety meds to replace it, so I'm really scare as to what I am going to have to go through. That's one of the many reasons I'm so petrified about going into hospital. 

Anyways, I hope you are doing ok Ocean girl and that the fur babies are well. 

Best wishes, Doglover.

Apologies that I haven't corrected some of the typos but it's really hard to get the curser to go where I want it to on my phone.

[oceangirl]

Hi @Doglover 

Your little girl sounds perfect. Hopefully with time you might be able to do more of these activities. I took my two for a walk this afternoon. And I have just had a sleep for a while.

I hear and understand your fears. Perhaps you could slowly get organized for hospital and that will help with the wait. Taking action might help to make you feel better. I know getting organized beforehand as always helped me and you're not leaving it to the last minute. You could always ring the hospital and ask to be put on a cancellation list.

I know ceasing anxiety meds can be tuff but you never know you might transition quite well. There are some other meds that are good for anxiety but of course that is a discussion you should have with your PDOC. I too have anxiety and some antidepressants are good for that (Lex....). Anxiety is diffcult to treat and I am sorry you're suffering from this. Make sure you have a complete physical and try to rule out any physical causes.

Thank you we are doing a bit better, I am anyway and the fur babies are good.

Much love OG

[Doglover]

Hi @oceangirl 

You are so lucky to be able to sleep during the day - I wish I could. My anxiety and agitation won't allow it.

I think I'll take my girl for a walk shortly, she didn't get one yesterday so rly should take her, even though I really don;t feel like it. 

I have just started slowly getting ready for hospital as you suggested. Went and bought some pj's and jumper and trackies as I do't really have nough of those sorts of clothes. I am starting to make a list of what to take and gradually getting some things together. It's hard of course as a lot of those things I'm still using, but doing what I can. 

They have tried me on most of the meds that help with anxiety including AD's and I just keep getting worse. I actually think it's ingredients in the medications that are making me worse as I have had this problem in the past before I ever had MI problems. I have developed the same symptoms I have now when taking medication (totally unrelated to MI). When I stopped taking the meds the symptoms went away. That's why I'm so scared that they are not going to get me better even going into hospital because any med they give me is going to make me worse. I feel so totally trapped OG. My symptoms are also getting worse so I don;t know how much longer I'm going to be able to wait to go to hospital. It's a catch 22, I don't think going into hospital is going to get me better, but I'm getting worse and towards the place of being bad enough that I'll have to go into hospital, even though I don;t believe I'm going to get better. I really am soooo scared of what I'm going to have to go through in there. 

Anyway, enough of my whinging. I just really feel the need to talk at the moment and I have noone to talk to. 

I'm glad the fur babies are doing well and that you are also doing better OG. I hope it continues. Take care.

Doglover xxx

[oceangirl]

Hi @Doglover 

Sorry I am just reading your message now. I truly understand your fears about going into hospital and what might happen. I am sorry to hear you're still struggling atm. I am back on medication from last Tuesday and it is affecting my sleep, I hope it improves with time.  I suffer from anxiety too, and I truly feel for you, because I know what it is like to suffer from anxiety. How was your walk with your girl?

I am glad you're getting organized for hospital and starting to pack your bag. A list sounds like a good idea to get organized, and also to figure what you need, and what things you may need to get before hospital.

I am sorry to hear you feel your condition is becoming worse overtime, that makes me feel sad. I wish I could say or do something to give you comfort. Have you had a blood test to rule any physical causes? I know my anxiety got worse because I went through premature menopause. Sometimes medication can make anxiety worse, that does happen. When you said in the past your condition got worse because of the medication prior to your MI- the condition was unrelated to a MI and the medication was not for a MI- am I understanding that correctly? I think it would be best to talk to your specialist and perhaps talk through your options- perhaps to see how you go without medication. You know when you stop you may feel worse before you start to improve. And the reason I say to see how you go without medication you may find that you are better without it. Or you could try a more natural or milder form of medication. I do know anxiety is really diffcult to treat. And just remember you don't have to stay on medication if you think it is making you feel worse. The key is communication so that they can adjust your treatment plan to help you feel better.I hope the hospital stay is helpful and that you're in good hands. 

I have not had the best day because of lack of sleep last night and feeling really unhappy. I am hoping tomorrow is better. Thinking of you. Take Care 

[Doglover]

Hi @oceangirl ,

Firstly let me apologise in advance that my reply will likely not do your post justice. I am struggling to keep up with replies to posts, and am working with a new keyboard that is bluetoothed to my phone and I am just not used to, it's totally different to a normal keyboard. 

Thank you for your support re hospital.

I'm sorry your new meds are affecting your sleep. Is your doctor aware? Sleep is very important, I make sure my pdoc knows if my sleep is not good. Sometimes he changes something sometimes he doesn't. 

My list for hospital is fairly well developed now,can;t really get things together because still using them on a daily basis  but will get together what I can. 

I have recently had a range of tests and they have shown up a number of issues that I need to get addressed, some of which could be contributing, but not completely causing my anxiety. Am going to see GP about it tomorrow. 

Re past medication, yes you are nderstaning correctly. I have a history of sensitivities to both foods and medications. I have takne medication in the past, well before any MI issues, that have caused a reaction similar to wht I am experiencing now though to a milder degree because I stopped taking the medications after a feew days. I have also had iron infusions that have caused extreme anxiety and insomnia along with related symptoms and that is actually what precipitated me presenting to Mental Health triage at the end of last year and that's how I ended up on all these medications. But I believe the ingredients in the medications are just perpetuating the problem. I actually want to come off all medications, I am hoping to do that in hospital, but I'm not sre if they will be agreeable to it., but I'm going to put it to them. I think it could be a very hard road cming off all the meds though. Mind you, some of the meds I have to come off, I dont have a choice, that is why they are putting me in hospital, so might as well try and see if I can go the whole hog. 

You mentioned you were really unhappy yesterday, are yo feeling any better today?

Thank yu for your support and again, I apologise if my reply has not done your post justice. I'm just doing what I can at the moment and my replies just take so long. 

Take care Oceangirl. Thinking of you.

PS: Sorry again for the typos. UNfortunately they are too hard to fix!

[oceangirl]

Hi @Doglover 

I struggle to keep up with the posts too. Btw there is no need to apologise for your post, I appreciate you taking the time to respond to me.  

My Doctor is aware of my sleep and we have been talking nearly every day. I am not sure talking to her so frequent is actually helping me. Am glad you're seeing your GP tomorrow and they have investigated what might be causing your anxiety for you. You seem to be moving in the right direction.

I am also sensitive to food & medication. I was sensitive to food first probably because I didn't have much medication when I was baby- it was not until I was a young child that I had sensitivity to medication too.Just remember it is your body, and you have a choice, what medication you put in your body. I think its good that you're thinking about what you may need in hospital and what you would like to achieve from your stay. I am not sure of your medication but I do know people struggle to come off certain medication and I hope that is not the case for you. You seem to know what you need and I hope you can communicate this to your specialist. You maybe able to come off all your medication or come off them in stages depending on how you go or adjust as needed. 

I am not feeling any better unfortunately and the lack of sleep is not helping. I am finding it diffcult to express how I am feeling. 

[Doglover]

Hi @oceangirl ,

I'm glad your GP is aware of yuour sleep. Amazing they are willing to talk to you every day! Most docs wouldn;t do that!

Interesting that you are sensitive to foods and chemicals too. I am positive that I am sensitive to the excipients in the medications but the docs don;t believe me. I have had meds before unrelated to MI that I have had the same reactions to and as soon as I stop taking them the reaction subsides, so I know it to be true but they just think its part of the mental illness.

Im sorry youre not feeling any better oceangirl, and that you are stilll struggling with sleep. Has there been any further development re meds given that you are keeping in close contact with your GP re sleep?

I hope tonight goes better for you OG. Thinking of you. xxx

[oceangirl]

Hi @Doglover 

How was your day?

Yes my GP is aware of my sleep and my struggles the past week. 

I went today for a follow up and nothing has changed in terms of my management She did order a blood test and ultrasound for me. I had the blood test straight away.It must be frustrating that your Dr doesn't take your concerns seriously. You know you could always get a second opinion. I am hoping I sleep better too. 

[Doglover]

Hi @oceangirl ,

Sorry to not have replied properly. Just wanted to let you know that I am now in hosptal, was admitted yesterday. Will post a proper reply if I get the chance.

I hope you are doing ok.

Doglover xxx