Does it ever stop

[Fluttershy1]

Hey - I feel like I can’t escape how I feel, how I react to things, how flashbacks and people I see that have caused me trauma in the past and present. I feel like I’m just trapped in it some days constantly and that it just wants to stay and haunt me and not leave. 

my house mates have been arguing constantly and it got to a point tonight where I yelled at them to stop as it is getting annoying as it’s nearly everyday and it never stops. Then one of them had a go at me and started yelling and telling me that it’s the other persons fault when it wasn’t even them. It’s just a constant run around and I can’t seem to escape it. 

im just now curled up on my bed in tears because I’m so triggered and I don’t know what or how I’m feeling.

im safe

but it’s just bringing up all my past all over again.

@Shaz51 @Bow @Jacques @Jynx @tyme @Blackbird11 @Meowmy @outlander @Historylover @Snowie @eth @Zoe7 and if I’ve missed anyone please tag them 

[AlwaysMyself]

Hi @Fluttershy1 , I know I haven't met you before, but I hear you. That sounds a really awful situation to be in. The meat in the proverbial sandwich. 😓😰 I'm sorry that you are having to experience both the traumatic flashbacks & emotions, as well as the housemates behaviours too -- all while doing your best to control your own reactions too which I'm hearing is really really hard (and I totally get how hard it can be too!!!)

[Fluttershy1]

Hey @AlwaysMyself - nice to meet you. I just want them all to stop I feel like I never escape it, I escaped home last year as it wasn’t safe for me anymore. Now I’m in a share house, now I feel like I just need to get out of here aswell because it’s so damn overwhelming, I’m also in the process of being discharged from the community mental health team. It’s just a constant battle. I’m also trying to get a adhd assessment done because I had an autism one done and that came back that I don’t have autism but I show more of adhd. So I’m just over everyone and trying to sort appointments out and try and find somewhere more quieter to live 

[Bow]

Can really relate to not being able to escape from it all @Fluttershy1  like really relate right now. It is so bl00dy relentless. And so bl00dy exhausting. Like I don’t want to anymore, but what do you do to change it????

sorry hon, got nothing helpful to say but with ya

[Anonymouse1000]

@Fluttershy1 

I feel ya... Im sitting in either depression or anxiety but can't find any middle ground and it seems the only way to get help is to turn up in ED and ask to be committed again.

[AlwaysMyself]

@Fluttershy1 @Bow  sending caring vibes & hugs.

As a teen I would often hear arguments at home - usually between my dad and someone else in the family (often enough with me and him also lol). I hated it too; I remember wanting to go out there and scream at them to stop. I would spend all evening in my bedroom alone - often with music on to duel-benefit drown out the sound of their voices and also to calm-soothe myself.

I wonder if there are helpful coping-strategies for in-the-moment which can help release the emotion/frustration in a non-destructive way? 🤔

I know for everyone what this may be is different. And even to this day I am still trying to find more ways that I can use when confronted with different feelings and/or adapt to the physical-environment options.

Is that something you would find worthwhile exploring over a chat? (no pressure to)

[Fluttershy1]

@Bow - I just feel like it’s something around every corner and then bam something else happens, I’m trying to do therapy, it’s hard but I also think it’s not making any difference. Some days are just better than others I’m guessing. I just need to accept it, but yeah I’m looking at getting my own place with the help of my NDIS team I’ve had so much change with that. 

[Fluttershy1]

@AlwaysMyself - I listen to music all the time to drown out the arguments and play games, or I try to sleep it out. But sometimes it’s so hard, cause I also have childhood trauma. It’s just a damn mess. I’m still often finding ways how to cope . Sometimes I just even go for a walk. 

[Fluttershy1]

@Anonymouse1000 - I can’t even turn up to ER because they don’t help me anymore they tell me to use my skills or rely on my NDIS team. I’ve just gotten so used to coping alone now, but I’ve decided to come back here as it was a massive help for me. But I also have BPD, anxiety, depression, C-PTSD, panic, intellectual disability and in the process of getting adhd dignois. 

im using most of my skills though which can be helpful at times. And having my NDIS team around aswell

[AlwaysMyself]

It sounds like you are doing so many "right things" @Fluttershy1 to help yourself - well done! 😍 I know that it is still so hard and painful when it feels like even that is not enough. Holding onto the future place-by-yourself for you, and that this housemate situation is only temporary 🤗.