Functioning with ADHD

[creative_writer]

I managed to get a pdoc appointment late afternoon. Got lots to fill up him on. Just have to get through until then safely. I’m trying to not self harm before then either, but I’ll see how I go. I never do anything major (but I know it’s risky). Its main purpose is to get me through the day safely and helps me resist SI.

I’ve been in contact with 1800 respect and spoke through trauma. Trauma is a major driver for disordered eating and probably contributes to bipolar and enormous anxiety I cope with on a regular basis. Still trying to figure out how I can feel in control of my body when I feel so out of control. Body flashbacks can be so gruesome, super challenging when it’s a daily struggle 😢

[creative_writer]

Will the flashbacks get easier?

[creative_writer]

I feel migrainey and nauseous. The appointment is soon, at 5:30pm. Feeling anxious

[AuntGlow]

Hi @creative_writer, 

Apologies for my delay, I am here with you now. 🥰

How are you feeling now and are you safe? 

I know this is a big appointment for you and that things are feeling vulnerable, but we are here for you, okay? I want to hear all about how it goes!

I understand and I am so sorry to hear the body flashbacks feel so intense... but they won't be forever. I know it doesn't feel this way right now, but things can shift. I promise. 💛

[creative_writer]

@AuntGlow I'm feeling overwhelmed but I am safe. I am just waiting for the appointment now. I'll let you know how it goes

[creative_writer]

@AuntGlow he adjusted my meds. What I have is depression with manic features.

He also think it would be good to get more psych sessions, just need to complete the ED assessment. He will be involved in the assessment too

[creative_writer]

I’m feeling less agitated today, still pretty depressed. I wish I could work through trauma and heal, but it’s taking so long. I know my trauma is complex and it can take a bit longer, but feel like it’s just dragging. I want to feel safe in my body, but I don’t think I’m there yet. Can I get to the safety point?

[AuntGlow]

Hi @creative_writer 💛

You absolutely can get to the safety point and you are doing all the right things to open up that space for yourself. Remember, that our emotions ebb and flow, no matter how healed we are. There are so many moments I find myself intensely dysregulated, despite having more times in my life than I ever have before feeling safe in my body. So maybe a good measure of this is how often over time you can access regulation, rather than how often you're still experiencing triggers... does that sound like it could be helpful?