Lived Experience Forum

[Former-Member]

I have big things happening over the next few weeks and they terrify me. I'm going to court to testify against my ex husband who was abusive. Its been two years since he was arrested and i just want this over iwth now but i have no idea how to get through this. Ive been feeling so anxious over the last week and its building up. I have a constant headache now and getting chest pains which i know is just the anxiety but still scares me. I am doing breathing exercises when ever i notice it getting out of control, i've been trying to do more exercise when i feel like i just want to curl up in a ball, and im doing the muscle relaxation strategy thing once a day (it was suggested i do it minimum of 2 a day, but can't until i put the kids to bed!!). all of these things help to relieve things from an 8/9 out of ten to maybe a five out of ten for a while, but the anxiety feels like its always there. i'm horrified at the thought of telling so many people the specifics of what happened, but more terrified at how they are going to question me to discredit me. There are a few things from my teenage years that i did that im so ashamed of that are going to be brought up and will probably sound terrible and theres a very low chance of him being convicted but i have to do this to try and keep my kids safe 😞

Has anyone else had a similar time that they've been terrified of something thats coming up, how did you cope, what did you do to cope?

LJ

[Mazarita]

Hi @Former-Member,

Your anxiety is understandable given the stress you are under. I know how it can really take over sometimes too. It's great that you are working with the breathing whenever you remember. Anything to do with physically relaxing the body is good. I'd recommend taking things slow at this stressful time, maybe playing relaxing music and just trying to be as gentle on yourself as possible. Mainly I just want to add a voice of support and send good wishes that things go as smoothly as possible.

[hiddenite]

Hey Lj

for me breaking my days into hours is helpful. Also using my senses.
Look around and find 5 five things you can see
5 things you can hear
5 things you can touch (hot cold warm soft)
5 things yoy can smell (essential oils, soap)
5 things you can taste (chilli, ice , lemon ,)

It gets easier with practice.
Try to distract color in they have adult coloring in books now.
Even start to count backwards from 100

I hope some of these help.
if not you know you are supported unconditionally here.
take care
karen

[Former-Member]

Thankyou both @hiddenite and @Mazarita,

I had forgotten about my colouring in books! I have a couple of adult ones from a while ago, will get them out again. Yes the grounding the exercises are good too. I tend to dissociate a lot and the thougt of going through all that old stuff is bringing stuff up all the time. I have a small smooth rock/pebble in my pocket to feel and hold when i get distracted (a suggestion for when im in court was to have something like that to help keep me grounded so have been dtrying to practice that too). 

Wish i could speed up time so that it was already over with already. Scared that this is going to push me over the edge of coping again. 

LJ

[hiddenite]

I've got crystals that I keep with me. I also use my essential oil a dab on each wrist to keep me grounded so I don't trigger as much.
I understand that it can be something so small that can tip you over the edge. you have a huge challenge ahead.
Remember there is support out there.
Suicide line
1800 respect
lifeline
they will run through grounding techniques with you or maybe just someone to talk to without judgment.
Good luck

[NikNik]

Wow - I've learnt alot just by reading this post. A lot of techniques!

@hiddenite, @Former-Member & @Mazarita It would be amazing if you could share these techniques with others in the coping box thread

Coincidently, I bought an adult colouring book over the weekend. Can't wait to just chill and colour! There's actually a couple of colouring books in the SANE Aus lunch room too 🙂

Lj, I think you are very brave. Anyone, regardless of whether they have a history of anxiety or not, would be anxious in the situation you're in. Understandably you want to control the symptoms, but I hope you're not being hard on yourself for feeling the way you do.

I don't have any additional suggestions - but I just wanted to show my support for you by responding.

We are thinking of you and here when you need us.

[Former-Member]

@NikNik

Thank you for your post. Its just so hard, because its school holidays amd i have my two littlies home and i have to be ok for them. not coping with this stuff isnt an option but the brain doesnt care, but it sucks big time. im so exhausted already and its only wednesday! doh!! plus my lil guy is sick with a cold and im coming down with it too now... just not fair!! hoping he's better by court time because i have noone to look after him if he cant go to child care. oh gosh not even going to worry about that right now!!! crappppp!

LJ

[Appleblossom]

@Former-Member

Thinking of you

What are your colouring books about? I might get some for me.

[Former-Member]

Hi @Appleblossom , they're just Indian Mendala design patterns. I do enjoy colouring lol not sure why! i think its just easy to be absorbed in the focus of what you;re doing i guess... 

how are you?

[hiddenite]

hi lj
hoping today you and your children feel a bit better. Rug up and put a favorite dvd on.
thinking about you
karen