Constant flashbacks

[tyme]

I ended up having a nice warm shower yesterday. Then I read LION with my niece. My niece likes realistic fiction, history, experiences of the holocaust... and she also enjoys the lighter graphic novels, I Survived (which is based on different historical events) @creative_writer 

It's true that when you have too much to do, you can get sick and when you don't have enough to do, you also get sick... just a fact of life, right?

Hope today is better for you. Do you do anything for mothers' day?

[creative_writer]

@tyme she sounds like a character! I feel like a lot of girls are fairy tale fluffy type of children.

It’s hard to prevent viral infections. My gut health needs work, stress affects the gut and the gut affects stress.

I’ve been feeling under the weather so I’ve started going down a rabbit hole. My SI aren’t super intense rn, hopefully won’t get any worse. I don’t want to go into another battle where staying safe becomes harder. In some ways I’m grateful my SI isn’t a daily occurrence, but it can hit hard sometimes.

My family are going out for lunch, but I am feeling completely wiped out to leave the house rn and tons of uni stuff to do. I’ve been struggling to get much done today. Might need pain relief.

Are you up to much today?

[tyme]

Gut health certainly impacts everything else @creative_writer . Hence they call it the 'second brain'.

I'm not up to much today. Just taking it easy. The kids want Starbucks but I'm umming and arghing...i don't think they know how to appreciate starbucks lol. It's like is the same as every other hot choc I get them. So I don't know. 

I might tell their dad to take them to a play centre and I'll meet them there in the evening or something, then take them out for starbucks. 

So really, not sure yet.

[creative_writer]

@tyme it took to a while to realise I had an ED. I just thought I had disordered eating, that can affect gut health over time. Gut health can also influence your motivation to get sufficient nutrients, bloating does not help with self image. I used to wonder why I felt so stuck in therapy for years, and then I realised I had an undiagnosed ED. Working on the ED plus learning to regulate myself when trauma comes up has helped. I seem to be more responsive to therapy now. My psych said if someone is not getting adequate nutrition it will have a flow on effect on mental health.

I was also finding behavioural activation overwhelming at times too and it’s been more helpful to work on regulation first. Social interactions as behavioural activation can be hard for NDs, I felt like I was failing because I shut down in big gatherings when I’m overstimulated.

Kids probably can’t tell the difference between all hot choc, unless they’re one of those kids with MasterChef insight. I hope you’re able to take it easy before you see the kids. Kids can be a handful

[AlwaysMyself]

@creative_writer hope its ok to post in this thread - too hard currently to find old one.

I went to post this to you this morning and hit the 403 error outage :face_with_rolling_eyes:.

sorry I haven’t had a chance to read any posts, but I still wanted to just post to say “thinking of you” and “I care” even though I’ve been absent and unavailable. 🤗. You are not forgotten.

[creative_writer]

@AlwaysMyself I hate the 403 error.

That’s okay, sometimes life can get hectic. I hope you are okay 💖

[AuntGlow]

I hear you and I completely agree. @creative_writer  I am curious to know how it feels to look at yourself as a person first, having human reactions to overwhelming experiences and environments? My therapist sometimes takes diagnoses out of the conversation and focuses more on me, my body, and what I am needing to feel safe and regulated. I am curious to know if that approach could create some space for you to approach your thoughts and feelings in a different way too? 

You did an enzyme mask! That sounds really fancy. What does the mask do??

I am glad you were able to take your medication, this is definitely a win! Do you notice a difference in your mind and body when you are able to take them? 💛

[creative_writer]

@AuntGlow I do feel like diagnoses don’t capture everything, especially since mental illnesses can present so differently in everyone. I do think it’s about feeling regulated. When I’m feeling depressed, a lot of SA memories come up. I have other traumas too, but I feel like I have a better grasp on them, but I’m sure they do affect me to some extent. I’m just coping the best I can today, I’ve been feeling dsregulated.

The enzyme mask is a gentle exfoliant, but this one isn’t very hydrating and I can’t leave it for long or my face goes red. Probably won’t get it again, but sometimes skincare is worth the try.

Medication does make a difference in how regulated I feel. I’ve learnt to accept that I need to be on meds if I want to stay alive. I know it may not be ideal, and there is stigma around taking psych meds, but they can be life saving.

How are you doing? 💖

[AuntGlow]

Thank you for sharing this with me @creative_writer, these are really helpful reflections. I wonder what safety could look like when you're experiencing depression? What comes to my mind first is gentle activation. What about you? 💛

Ah, the exfoliating stuff always makes my skin better in 3-5 business days, but never right away! I think hyaluronic acid masks can be a good option to soothen? Or perhaps the aloe product you were telling me about?

They absolutely can be life saving and I am so glad they are helping you. 🫶

I am doing well, thank you for asking. Just finished a theatre project and hoping to pursue some more creative adventures again soon. ✨

Have you been writing?

[creative_writer]

@AuntGlow trying to ground myself to present moment helps, the five sense grounding activity or even just sniffing perfume, being under cover and sensory toys can help.

Each enzyme face mask is different, some do tend to be more hydrating. I do use aloe Vera everyday to soothe my skin because it’s so sensitive.

Theatre project sounds intriguing, what aspect of the threatre work were you involved in?

I haven’t done any creative writing recently, I’ve been stuck with uni work