Functioning with ADHD

[rav3n]

morning! @creative_writer glad to hear you're feeling a lil better today. how's your eye btw? is it healing okay?

i hear you about that guilt, my friend was also in a similar position. she was working and studying but then her mental health deteriorated and she quit her job. she also struggled with full time uni so she switched to part time for a bit. she's finally going to graduate this year, and although she took 2 extra years to complete it - she did her best, and we're all proud of her for that. you did your best too, and you're still doing your best - it's okay to take things slow. we all have our own pace and tolerance, it doesn't make us less deserving or worthy if we take a slower/different route. i think 'hustle' culture tends to set the expectations higher (but it doesn't mean it's good for us!)

[creative_writer]

@rav3n my eye is almost normal now, the bruising is gone. I am just grateful it was just a small infection, I think I caught it at an okay time.

I studied what would be considered full time load for two years (but it wasn’t a 100% load), it burnt me out. This year I’ve been taking it easy while I have the time. I know everything has a time and place. I am currently volunteering. There is a lot of competition and we are encouraged to keep ourselves busy, it’s just hard getting a job with limited experience. The foot in the door may be the hard part, but all we can do is keep trying. I also wish there were more part time options for graduates

[rav3n]

@creative_writer glad to hear your eyes recovering okay 💖

yes i hear you with the competition! it's quite tough, especially when health care industries are the ones with employees who are prone to experiencing burn out as well. wish there was more part-time opportunities out there for you. how's your volunteering going?

[creative_writer]

@rav3n I believe many social workers would like to work 4 days as opposed to 5 days, it is intensive work. One of my supervisors on placement did 0.9 FTE, and the other one worked from home twice a week. Volunteer work is going well so far, just started off with Lifeline. I was with Lifeline a few years ago for a bit but had to discontinue due to my mental health. I’m hoping I’m better equipped this time

[creative_writer]

I know I’m doing better today, but it’s still hard. The anxiety and the general malaise are still present. It’s hard not to live on guard. I always feel like I need to protect myself even though I’m safe. Sometimes I don’t even know what thoughts are going through my head, I just feel at unease. It’s hard to describe.

Not even sure what to do about yeast infection, it’s making me super uncomfortable. I took meds for it but then it came back within a few days. I suppose I’ll need to make another appointment. Antibiotics courses are super bad for yeast, not sure if that is what triggered it. I’ve had to take multiple courses of antibiotics this year

[creative_writer]

I’m telling myself I’m safe, but I’m finding it hard to believe it

[AuntGlow]

Here with you @creative_writer. Can you identify what thoughts and feelings are creating a sense of unsafety for you? 💖

[creative_writer]

@AuntGlow I feel like it might be trauma related. Sometimes it is hard to identify the thoughts and feelings, I sort of can disconnect with what I’m feeling in my body. Maybe I should work backwards. So I’m feeling sort of edgy and feel like I need to protect myself. I’m noticing my body feels weird now that I am thinking about it, maybe trauma is being replayed.

I’m playing with a rubber band to cope, it helps me feel something else in my body

[AuntGlow]

This is such a great reflection @creative_writer!

Yes - it's so hard connecting to your body when it feels unsafe... and learning to create safety in the body is where things can shift for trauma. So, I think working backwards (bottom-up) could be so helpful. The edginess and need to protect to yourself is understandable. Is there a safe way you can release energy right now or create a sense of soothing? 💛

[creative_writer]

@AuntGlow the rubber band helped, but now my hand hurts, probably stretched myself too much. I also have sensory toys, like those noodle things. I could try to find a good one. I think one of my noodle thingies was becoming sticky, not sure if the heat melted the glue. I also find it soothing to be wrapped up underneath my duvet and blanket